Chasing The Moon

Chapter 30

~~~~~

Yalllll my eyes hurt so bad from crying so I'm just sitting here and self-indulging myself with food at 2 summ

Back to yams pov. This was the day Tsukki came to visit his house, just barely after had left.

~~~~~

"Tadashi."

"Tadashi."

"'Dashi!"

My head slumped to the side, eyes slowly opening as the sight of the room filled my vision. I tried to process everything, but everything was so blurry. My whole body throbbed, arms brimming with pain every time I tried to focus the sensation of feeling back into myself. My brain swirled with thoughts and memories, all of them rushing over me like a hurricane against my skull.

Deep red pools clouded over my eyes, recalling the closet scenario. What was I doing?

I squinted my eyes again, sharp pangs shooting through the front of my head and across to the back. Right, I was trying to kill myself.

But, it was very, painfully obvious I didn't succeed. I looked down at my arm, feeling just barely started to regain in my body. I tried lifting my arm up to my face to examine it, but I was met by resistance. I pulled again, but my arm refused to comply with my movements as if something was retaining it down.

I was unaware of my surroundings, just like last time. The lighting refused to adjust to my eyes. My head kept falling forward. I knew I was exhausted, having just been on the verge of death. I had lost a lot of blood, my body was so frail.

I closed my eyes tight at the light turning on, my swollen cheeks making themselves ever more apparent. I tried opening one eye, my head nodding on my shoulder. My dad was standing there, an expression of anger and sadness washed over him. He raised his shoulders with a deep inhale, and as he exhaled he ran over to me, cupping my cheeks in his cold hands.

"How are you feeling? You really scared me you know."

I looked around the room. It was unmistakably familiar to my mind, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I studied the exterior, wandering my eyes across the patches of stains that made their way along the walls. The floors were dark concrete, covered in scratches and blemishes that added to its rustic appearance. There were other objects in the room, although for some reason I was having trouble naming them. I peered back over to meet my dad's copper eyes, his eyebrows creased in a way that made me feel uneasy inside.

"What...happened?" I asked, my voice so scratchy I could barely even get out one word without wincing at the feeling. He sighed, moving his hands from his cheeks onto my shoulders, sending waves of more pain throughout my body from just that singular touch.

"I found you in the closet, almost completely bleeding out. I took you to the bathroom and bathed you, wrapping you up as best as I could. You...," his voice cracked, making sure his eyes wouldn't meet mine, "You didn't wake up for days. I thought you had died, Tadashi."

I frowned. So, he had saved me. I know any reasonable person would be grateful, but I was enraged. I only asked for one thing. God thought it was nice to make me suffer, and whenever I tried to make myself hurt how I wanted to, he wouldn't let me. I just wanted to die in peace in that closet, alone and cold like I always am. I squeezed shut my eyes, hoping I could stifle any tears I knew would eventually creep their way out.

For days huh? That would mean I never would have gone back to school for a week now. Everyone must be pretty worried. Especially...especially...

Someone appeared in my mind, his glasses and bright blond hair filling my memories. I thought about how many things we had done together, about how he held me whenever I was at my lowest.