Chasing The Moon

Chapter 47

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Sorry I just can't support a story where the main characters are h*mosexuals 😂😂

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"Just go in Tadashi. It'll be okay."

My feet stood adhered to the ground, the very room I had been disquieted about for the past week now sat in front of me. The mocking buzz of the office lights added to the monotonous ideal of my inevitable situation. Kei stood next to me, a hand loosely placed on my shoulder which only nudged me forward.

I peeked over at his mom who was talking up a storm with the receptionist, clearly enjoying herself so I decided to go with the option I was most dreading, shakily tightening my hand around the door handle.

The almost tedious room, barren walls and equipment my eyes barely glazed over with uninterest, made me increase my uttermost reluctance to be here.

I was met by dark virescent eyes behind a pair of round glasses, light brown hair tied up in a bun with loose strands over her face, lining her jawline almost faultlessly. Looking up at me from her notepad, she gave a cordial smile with teeth, motioning towards a small but fluffy couch.

I sat down almost dubiously, tucking my hands involuntarily between my thighs. I couldn't help but feel small, the unfamiliar room creating a jittering in the tips of my fingers and restlessness in my chest.

What felt like an eternal silence made me shrink in my spot, the ticking of a clock unseeable in the room made me want to dash out and never come back.

"I'm very sorry for the wait, I know you're probably nervous and I'm not making it any better," she chuckled, almost as if she could have read my fearful thoughts.

"It's okay," was the only thing I could muster up the courage to say, immediate regret making me internally wince. She flipped through her notes one last time before setting them in her lap, this recognizable action making me reminisce about my doctor at the hospital.

Must be an adult thing.

"So, Tadashi, why don't you tell me a little about yourself. I can't expect you to open up to me if we're complete strangers. My name is Yui Minato, but you can just call me Yui."

She rested the side of her head on her palm, glasses poking up a couple of centimeters on the other side of her face. I thought about all the simple little things I had found even the slightest joy in, although really it had been so long since I'd done anything fulfilling that it all passed by my train of thought.

"Well, I like to play volleyball."

"That's good! Sports are great for keeping you active and your mind off of other things, not to mention the expectations for school work. Keeps you motivated. In your situation, I know it has been hard recently though."

I nodded, focusing on the carpet that was brushing under my feet. I lined up the little black and white checkered boxes in my eyes, skipping from one square to another before starting over with the other set once I got to the end.

"Yeah, I haven't been to school or practice in a while. I think that's my fault though."

She leaned back in her seat, creaking of the wheels and metal echoing through the soundless room.

"Why do you say that?"

I wrapped my fingers with each other over and over uncontrollably, rubbing them against my sweater as I wished I had a pocket I could shelter them from. It was bad enough having a nervous habit, but when you couldn't hide it, it just felt embarrassing.

Of course, I knew this question was coming. Asking why I always shifted the blame onto myself when there were an endless amount of people I could just as easily burden my weight on and point fingers of where my trauma originated was something that everyone probably thought about questioning me about. And truthfully, I didn't have an honest answer to that, my unmistakable and plus-sized inferiority complex was something I just couldn't get around.

"I don't know...I just feel like I shouldn't have ran. I should have told someone."

"But you didn't."

I looked up to meet sights with her, eyes slightly widened from the obvious yet internal rumbling-inducing response she gave.

"Well, I know that-"

I cut myself off, frowning at the mental block I was suddenly experiencing.

"I understand that's a completely transparent thing to say, but you say all these 'I should have's or 'I could have's when in reality is it's over. You can't go back and change it, there is simply nothing you can do. Right now all you can do is move forward, forgive yourself for not doing what you should have, and make up for it now. That is what you have to accept. You won't do it again, right?"

I shook my head frantically, leaning forward before coming to my senses, relaxing once again.

"No, I won't. I want to move on. I want to try."

"Good, that's the first step. Self-realization. You cannot simply get better if you don't want to."

I smiled at her, my first genuine smile since I got here, and it felt nice. She smiled back, quickly guided her attention to her notepad where she scribbled something down. While listening to the scratching of the pen against paper, I wandered my eyes around the room, my unexpected rivet taking over me.

Yui had a cutesy minimalist desk sitting near a window, a couple of objects which appeared to be stress relievers and office supplies neatly organized along the top. Across the room from the desk sat a brown shelf leaned against a wall, a series of pamphlets and other indescribable objects laid. I decided to call them Therapist Thingamajigs since simply calling them objects was not only boring but it didn't suit my want to keep things lively.

"Well, Tadashi. It seems that was all the time we had today. I hope to see you again with the same enthusiasm in a few days."

I nodded, standing up from my spot with a bow, my hands tucked behind my back the entire time I walked about the door.

Kei and his mom were sitting on chairs in the waiting room, his mom reading through the booklets on a table. Kei stood up, hugging me before I even got a chance to get a word out to him.

"How'd it go?" he asked, pulling his head to look at mine but keeping our embrace.

"It was good. Feels like progress."

He smiled with closed eyes, but it almost looked painful as he did it, as if hearing those words come from my mouth struck something in his heartstrings.

"Good. Progress is good."

I nodded, following him out the office doors for the first, but definitely not the last time.

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Yui means 'helpful fountain' and Minato means 'sheltered harbor' so I thought it would be a suiting for a therapist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

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