Chasing The Moon

Chapter 49

~~~~~

Does anyone wanna teach me how to write again? 😊🤲

Anyways I AM BACK YAYAAYYAYAY 😐

Yeah just take it-

~~~~~

Shaky hands don't do well with bandages.

That's recently what I've learned.

-

"Tadashi, I can do it myself..."

As Kei tries to reach for the bandages in my hands, I yank them away, guilt seeping out from the trembling fingertips I was directing towards his shoulders.

It was my fault after all, so it was my job to fix things. Although, I can't imagine the confusion that he must be feeling, most likely thinking that I had just attacked him, and he doesn't even know why. Of course, I can't tell him, but either way I understand that it's not fair, hence the fact I'm working to make things better.

Despite the oversimplification of that, I couldn't function without shaking. My focus was only set on one thing, yet it felt like my whole body was set into overdrive from the surrounding itself. Maybe it was the bathroom, and all the terrible memories associated with it, or the smell, or maybe just the previous events slowly setting in my brain, despite the fact they already have.

It's such an easy task yet it's such a struggle, even after minutes pass I had only gotten one placed on. I could sense the tension growing in Kei, his hands desperately trying not to be figity on his legs, the way his fingers tapped anxiously distracting me from my goal.

And of course, this did not help the lump growing in my throat, my eyes burning behind a salty layer of tears clouding my vision.

"Tadashi, that's enough. I'm sure you don't feel well and I'm okay."

His words and painful smile peeking over his shoulder snapped me from my momentary state of dread, hands going stiff from staring at those honey eyes, not shielded behind lenses, squinted together. I stayed shell shocked as he took the bandages from my hands, every movement afterwards seemingly in slow motion yet flashing before my eyes before I knew what was going on.

As I flickered my focus away from the singular spot it was laid on, Kei, who was crouched in front of me, reached his cold arms under mine, moving them under my hips to balance me. Once I felt my body being lifted off the ground, my arms jolted to his neck from instinct to keep myself steady.

Every bounce of my limbs from his steps felt surreal, the static like atmosphere was invigorating and calming at the same time. There was no sensory input to take in, my eyes deadlocked on the darkness ahead of me, a silent house making the journey to his room peacful-like. Within the span of 10 minutes I had gone from taking everything in to being in almost complete paralysis.

The soft fabric of his blanket is what brought me back into reality, my body cradling up to it the second it had felt anything comforting. I groaned as the mattress shifted under his body weight, making me sink inward for just a second before he laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around me to where I was coveted in his warmth.

For just a second, I caught myself relaxing. Just for a quick moment it had seemed like everything that had previously happened was swelt away once we were cuddled back together again. But it didn't last.

Because I could feel it.

I could feel the stiff silence in the room, not one created by tiredness or even a sense of peace. This was one resonating off the fact both of us knew, and won't forget, what just went down in this same bed. I know his eyes are glued open. I know he, just like me, is not going to get a wink of sleep tonight.