Chasing The Moon

Chapter 51

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No angst today??? ong... 😳😳

Also sorry it's kinda late so if this chapter is crap that's why I just had an IDEA and had to write it before I forgot

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Tears soaked the back of his shirt, but they didn't even compare to the ones splattered across the floor below him, my hands wrapped around his quaking waist in an attempt of comfort. It didn't feel like I was doing much though, an ill at ease silence filling the room behind occasional hiccups. My tears met an end quickly, yet his only seemed to grow stronger. What can I do to stop his sobs, to at least create a temporary state of assuage?

My arms slowly and hesitantly released from my grip, falling to his side as I lifted myself off the ground with a groan. I wiped off the tears from my cheeks, stepping in front of him, reaching out a hand.

"Kei..."

He peeked up with his misty and red eyes, eyebrows furrowed with confusion, but it slowly turned soft as he took my hand and grabbed his glasses off the ground. Wiping off the remaining tears on his face and avoiding eyes with me, hand in hand I led him to his room. I know Kei isn't one for being comfortable with expressing his emotions, especially ones like crying, but there are some moments where I wish he'd let himself be vulnerable with me.

But that's okay because I'll let him have his chance to be. To let me hold him in my arms for once, to tell him sweet nothings while he cried without feeling bad about it.

And that's what I'm going to do, as I shut the door behind us while he stood partly confused and partly dazed, obvious his eyes were still stinging and brimming with tears again. Without a word I laid on the bed, smiling and holding my arms for him. He cocked his head slightly, shuffling towards me and setting his glasses on the table next to us.

"What're you up to?" he sniffled, not-so-gracefully climbing up on the bed and resting himself on me, head cheek-down on my chest. I could tell he had a little trouble making himself comfortable with his long legs, but eventually, he found a good position.

"Nothing, can I not just cuddle my boyfriend?" I ask playfully, rubbing my hands through his golden locks. He only hummed for a second in response, and I could feel his body sink into mine the second I made a stroke across his head. With his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, he buried his face deeper into my chest, so much I could almost believe he couldn't breathe at all.

But as I rubbed my fingers down his back, those brief light breaths grew tight, and soon began to tremble once more as sobs let themself fall freely. I brought my cheek closer to the top of his head, making sure to remind him I was right here.

"Hey, hey it's okay, I know, it's alright," I assured, rubbing a thumb across his cheek. He whined, attempting to wipe away the constant flow of tears falling down the bridge of his nose and clouding his eyes. It was almost enough to make me cry again too.

Yet, as I began to bring my hand from his head to his back, something caught my eye. Something so obvious, something that had been there for months, years even, that had never once intrigued me like this made me pause in my tracks.

Red and white scars, painful reminders of failed attempts sat etched and engraved into my skin. Some of them were almost completely healed, faded away to what looked like simple scratches, while one, the blunter one, shone a bright red and purple, tracing down my wrist to my elbow. It was so fresh in my mind, almost as if it had happened yesterday. Although, this isn't what piqued my interest, not the color or just the memory, but the fact that it was so much self-inflicted pain, so much mental cursing and wishing to die, to just end it all...

but I'm still here.

I'm here, the love of my life in my arms, the reason I had so much despair out of my life. It feels so wrong but I feel okay. I know in my mind I might have a long way to go but that's the thing, I'm going to live. I'm going to keep living.

Because I don't want to die. Not just yet, not while I have someone I care so deeply for right in front of me, and someone who cares for me, and genuinely too. I have a family, or at least the makes of one who want the best for me and are doing so, so much for me.

Despite the fact my boyfriend was here sobbing in my arms, there was a small flutter of hope in my heart, and I hadn't felt it in so long, but there was a flame of excitement set in my soul, excitement for my life and what's going to come in the future for me and Kei. Even if he is one of the main reasons I'm living, he's perfectly enough for me.

I let my arm fall to his back, a content smile forming across my lips with a quiet sigh. Once again he tried wiping his tears away, but after failing so many times he just let them continue to fall, an exasperated and congested groan escaping his throat. I need something, anything to say that would make him feel better, to make his worries disappear.

...

"Hey, Kei..."

He ruffled his head around before peeking up to meet my eyes, both cheeks a rosy red and blonde eyelashes darkened and coated with tears.

"Mmhm, what's up?"

I smiled at him, bringing my hands up to both his cheeks.

"I'm ready. I want to tell them what he did to me so he can be locked up and out of my life forever. I'm ready for this to all be over."

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I'm not TRYING to leave it on cliffhangers but I'm just too tired to write more 😭😭😭

Anyways yay progress :,)

...

😭

Just go yell at me through insta or something sheesh 😭

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