Chasing The Moon

Chapter 40

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My phone is being a jerky jerk head and won't let me install Grammarly on my phone meaning please tell me if I fudged up somewhere 😭

Tw: heavy language, abuse

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I can't look back now.

I can't turn back. If I do I won't be able to leave again. It will be for nothing.

I can't turn back now.

I cover my frozen nose and lips with my hands, regretting not slipping my jacket and gloves on before I left out the door, but I couldn't spend another second in that house. Not right now.

I trudged down the sidewalk, a frown across my lips, but I felt good. My body was sore, my face burned, my fingers were going numb, but I actually didn't feel completely awful right now.

It was dark, lamp-posts lighting up the sidewalk in front of me, my bag swinging side to side, poking at my hips, making me adjust it. I grabbed my gloves from the pockets, slipping them on and rubbing my hands together for some warmth.

I was reluctant to go inside my house. Standing outside the door, staring at the little flower pots, I felt bad. I said I was going to fix them up but I was too focused on myself to actually do it. Sorry, mom.

I sighed, twisting open the freezing cold door, groaning at the lights in the living room. My dad, as always, was sitting on the arm of the couch, arms crossed, waiting for me.

I stepped past him without a second glance, heading up to my room.

"You're late."

I stopped at the bottom step, clutching the bag at one side.

"I think I'm old enough to not have a curfew," I snap, leaning forward. I could hear the creaking of the floor behind me, my hairs standing on end.

"You are, but you know to message me beforehand. Fuck, Tadashi, don't think you're too old for me to not beat the shit out of you," he growled.

Usually, right now I'd be quivering and apologizing to him, but I was seriously at my limit.

"Fuck you," I whisper, starting up the steps again.

"What was that?!" He booms, the tone in his voice displaying his anger clearly.

I turn to him quickly, knuckles turning white with how tight I was clutching the strap on my bag.

"I said. Fuck. YOU!"

And with that, I dashed up the stairs, heart racing because I could hear him following right behind me.

My bedroom was too far, so instead, I ducked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and locking it, sinking to my knees.

I flinched as he banged on the door, the jiggling of the door handle making me shudder.

Despite this, I had a grin across my face, the confidence I had to tell off my father shocking me yet I felt proud of myself, a weird sense of energy flowing through my body.

I clutched my bag to my chest, staring at the beige door in front of me.

"Tadashi, open this fucking door right now," he said, without shouting, but I could hear the tension in his voice.

I stayed silent, my fear growing but I just didn't have the energy to deal with him today. I didn't want him to lay a finger on me.

I slightly relaxed once I heard the footsteps leading away from the door. I peeked under the frame just to make sure he was actually gone, and it was confirmed when I heard his bedroom door shut.

Yet, my bedroom was right next to his. If I tried to leave, the chances of me getting there before he was out of his room and to me were low, I know I'm not that fast.

So, I suppose I'll have to wait out here until late at night when I know he'd be asleep. I leaned back against the bathtub, the cold porcelain making me quiver, but for some reason, it was relaxing.

I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone, checking my messages. Luckily, Kei hadn't called or texted, meaning he was still asleep. I hope he stays asleep and sleeps well for that matter. I just want him to have one night without worrying about me. As long as he is sound asleep thinking I'm next to him, that's all that matters.

I scroll through my apps, trying to look for something to distract me, but I remembered I never actually had any games on my phone. I never really dwelled on things like that, since I wasn't much of a person who played video games, but right now it would be nice to do something to pass the time.

It was 11 right now. I only need to wait a couple of hours.

So, I installed a few games and set my phone to the side, waiting patiently for them to install. I looked around the familiar bathroom, the one I've had an excessive amount of terrible memories again.

I tried to shake it off as they all came flooding back, but once again I had tears streaking down my cheeks, ones I was desperately trying to wipe away.

I just wish it all never happened.

I snapped from my thoughts when I got the notification my games were done downloading. Wiping off a couple more tears, I grabbed my phone and started playing.

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I must have lost track of time because it was 2 am and I was frantically trying to keep my eyes open. I stood up and grabbed my things, slowly creaking to door open. It was too dark to see, so I shone the light from my phone in the hallway to make sure the coast was clear.

Tiptoeing across the wood, wincing at every single creak, I gulped as I opened my bedroom door, a smile spreading across my face.

But it quickly disappeared once I flipped my light switch on, breathing in heavily.

There was my dad, a shit-eating grin on his face, sitting in the middle of my room. My heart suddenly started racing as he stood up.

Run, Tadashi. Don't be a coward.

But I couldn't move my legs, like they were glued to the ground. All I had to do was turn around, get back in the bathroom or down the stairs, I could just escape if I could just move.

But as he laid a hand on my shoulder, I knew I lost, again.

He grabbed my shirt, dragging me from the outside of my room to his. I clutched at his arms, trying to yank myself away from him, but it was pointless.

"Stop struggling, you did this to yourself," he said, pulling on my shirt so hard it almost knocked the wind out of me.

"N-no...stop it."

As we reached his door, I clawed at his arms, and even though I hated it I knew it was my last option.

"Ow! Fuck, stop it!" He shouted, pushing me backward, keeping a hand on my shirt.

I just kept pulling away, ignoring his frustration, pushing my feet away from him against the floor.

I wasn't even thinking of the stairwell right behind me.

He slammed me against the bars, my head drooping directly over it, hair dangling in the air. I stared at the ground below, fear washing over at me.

"If you don't want to fall you might want to stop struggling," he growled, just barely leaning me farther over it.

I didn't want to go with him, but I didn't want to fall. It was a lose-lose situation. I closed my eyes tightly, just about to give up before something downstairs caught my attention.

I heard the door open, and then a familiar voice, almost bringing tears to my eyes.

"Tadashi?"

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My hand hurts 🙁

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