Chasing The Moon

Chapter 24

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TW: Panic attack

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"Hey, kid, it's pretty late. You should wake up and eat something."

My dad was shaking my arm, trying to wake me up. I groaned and rolled over away from him. Why couldn't I be granted just a little more time to forget everything? Not being in a conscious state was nice. I heard my dad sigh and flinched whenever I felt the bed sink underneath me.

"Listen, I know you're mad at me, but I want you to not hold it against me. I was drunk and I apologize, I feel terrible about it okay? Just, please come eat. I don't want you to starve."

I stayed quiet, considering what he said. I know that he was drunk, and wasn't thinking properly. Maybe he was right.

"It's fine, lets just forget about it," I said, turning over to him. He smiled and stood up to leave the room. I know I couldn't completely forget about it, but I could try to forgive him.

"Got it, thanks kiddo."

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My dad had made us breakfast, so I assumed it was around morning time, but based on the sunlight outside, it was past 8. I thought about how Kei was probably worried about me since I wasn't at school. I'll have to text him later and say that I was sick. I thought about telling him about my dad and what he did, but I already made the decision to forgive him. As long as he didn't do anything else, it was okay, right?

I sat at the counter, my dad was near the stove cooking up some eggs when he turned around to me, a smile plastered across his face. It was almost unnerving, seeing him this...fatherly. I wondered if inside he was feeling as guilty as he should about the situation. If it was eating away at him.

He laid out a plate in front of me, the savory smells of breakfast foods; bacon, eggs, pancakes, filling my lungs. I relaxed, digging in almost imminently. It had been a hot minute since I had a decent meal, these past few nights stuck inside a room, no motivation to take care of myself.

My dad sat across from me, the scraping of the chair making me wince. I still had a small headache, but it was slowly fading away. I noticed that the mess I didn't clean up last night was gone, meaning my dad had done it himself. Well, it was his mess anyway, so I don't know why I was as shocked as I am. Maybe he had finally come to his senses.

"So, how's school treating you? Doing good in class?" he asked, not looking up at me from his plate. His attempts at having a fatherly conversation struck me as weird, but I know it will be a while before I got used to him.

"Good, I guess. I'm not very good at math, but I have support there. Other than that, I'm not a bad student."

My dad nodded, thinking to himself before replying.

"Your mom wasn't good at math either, I have no clue how she got such a good job, but she always was very brilliant at everything she did. She worked so hard she barely had time for herself or family."

Well, that was one right thing he knew about her. But, my mom tried at least. She was better than he is. I decided not to reply, as I didn't want to talk about my mom, it would probably make me cry if the conversation continued farther.

"So um...are you seeing anyone? Do you have a girlfriend? You're definitely attractive enough to have one."

I gripped at my fork. Everyone is always assuming I have a girlfriend. It was nothing new, but it sure was annoying.

"No," I said, hoping he'd change the subject.

"A boyfriend?"

I tensed in my seat, adjusting myself before returning to my meal.