Chasing The Moon

Chapter 56

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HI GUYS IM ALIVE!!!!! 😦

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I inhaled the static air, a rumble of footsteps sending vibrations through my feet and legs, the mild conversations defining the atmostphere in the room giving me enough to distract myself from my thoughts. Kei sat next to me with his hands locked in mine, both of us trembling but neither one mentioning the worry beating down on our chests.

I was of course dreading for the door to open up to tell me my father was ready to see me, a sense of regret slowly creeping out from the back of my mind, one that I had stashed away when I proudly agreed to come here. And now look where I am, in a police office, preparing to see the one person I never ever wanted to lay my eyes on again. I inhaled again, this time swallowing the lump in my throat and hopefully my anxiousness.

The door frame opening made it's way into my view from my feet, my held tilting to the side to see an officer standing there.

"We're all ready now," he nodded, leaving the door open as he left to go back inside.

I began to stand up, but Kei's hand only squeezed mine tighter, pulling my ear down to his mouth.

"You leave if he says anything you don't like, you hear me?" he whispered, making sure to stare straight into my eyes, although the glare from the lights made it hard to see his serious expression in his eyes.

"It's gonna be alright," I reassured, pursing my lips together as I slowly stepped into the room after pulling away. It was well lit, stone covering every inch of the room other than a glass wall where the guard was standing, arms crossed behind his back. After adjusting myself to the room, my eyes finally locked to the table sitting in the middle of the floor.

His hair way shabby, knotted up and tied into his usual bun, though it looked like he hadn't showered in forever. His hands were handcuffed to the table, clothed in a bright orange suit. I sucked in my teeth, tucking my hands into the sleeves of my pockets as I made my way over to the seat across from his, trying my hardest to not get a look at him.

Neither one of us said anything, his hands tapping on the table to fill the awkward silence drifting between us. I desperately wanted to rush right back out the door, but this was something I knew I had to do. Yet, I refuse to start the conversation, this was something he had to resolve, for him to begin with his apology to me.

"Hey..." he started, making me flinch from his deep voice that constantly pierced my ears once before, like a reoccurring migraine that refused to go away no matter how much medicine you take, "Uhm...so I'm not entirely sure why you chose to see me again. If I were in your shoes..."

He paused, as if he was reciting a script that he had planned out in his head, almost fairly obvious from the way he spoke so monotonously, perfectly synthetic, no genuineness in his words.

"I'd never want to see me again, especially after what I did to you. So...so you know I just would like to say I'm sorry, I'm really sorry son. I made so many mistakes and I ruined our relationship. I'm just a drunkard bastard and I'll take the blame for that."

In inhaled, finally bringing myself to look into his eyes with an icy glare.

"Don't call me that," I groaned, shaking my head.

"What-" he started, me being able to catch the waver in his voice. I slammed my fists onto the table, holding back any tears that I knew would come up in a matter of time.

"Don't call me your son. I will never, EVER be your son. You can call me Tadashi, a nickname, a slur for God's sake, but I will never let myself be know as your son," I fumed through gritted teeth, finally I had the upper hand on him. Finally, for the first time in forever he was completely helpless while in my presence. He couldn't lay a finger on me, couldn't say a single thing that could be used against him. I collected myself, inhaling my pride as I sat back down.