A month had passed since I talked to Trevor and Margaux.. I leave for work and let Tita Amalia handle it for me.. and she gladly did it naman.
In the whole month.. I stayed at the house and spent my time with my family. Most of the time I go out with Aly and also my friends.. and sometimes they sleep here to catch up and also to drink.. baka nakakalimutan niyong mga maglalasing yun. Hahahaha.
Today I decided to clean my room and I found something. I found Trev's letter 4 years ago..
KInakabahan ko yung binuksan.. hindi ko makapa kung ready na ba akong basahin ang nakasulat.
Nangiginig ang kamay ko iyong binuksan....
Pati hand writing gwapo.. I laughed at my thoughts.. I haven't heard about Trev since the day I talked to him..
I opened the letter at first sentence palang naiyak na ako agad. I know I look like a fool reading a letter and then suddenly cried..
Anisse,
Hi there, Love... It's been 19 fucking months na wala ka. I missed you a lot.. I miss you everyday. I miss you every second.. you never out of my mind and heart.. And it hurts me to think that you are totally away from me.. I don't know what to do.. I want to follow you there and win you back but I'm so weak.. I'm scared you won't believe me and pushed me away instead. Baby, I never cheated.. I can't do that to you... I can be mad but I would never cheat.. Because you mean so much to me.. so much, baby... I love you so much..
I'm not the father of Margaux's child.. She fooled us.. I was angry with her... that's why she runaway and get hit by a car.. Baby, she lost her baby.... And I can feel that I'm at fault for that.. I shouldn't shout at her.. I should talk at her calmly but I let my anger drive me.. It saddens me to see her grieve for her baby.. sinisisi ko ang sarili ko.. And I already apologize to that angel up there but the heavy feeling inside me never left me..
I'm sorry I lost the strength to follow you there and win you again. I realized that you needed time.. So I gave you that and let you healed. You deactivated your social accounts that's why I always stalked your Lola and your sister to at least see how are you doing there.. I heard your business is growing.. I'm beyond proud of you.. I'm always will. It hurts lang that we're not together.. But I'll wait for you.. Kahit ilang taon pa.. kahit matagal pa. Maghihintay ako, Anisse. Hindi ako magsasawang maghintay sayo.. You were always worth the wait.
Take care of yourself... I always includes you and Tita to my prayers.. I prayed for her to get well the soonest.
By the way.. My family misses you.. Especially Mama.. you know she hit me when she heard that we broke up and impregnated Margaux? Gusto niya pa nga akong palayasin. She love you so much.. they love you.. And I love you too.
Maghihintay ako, Anisse.. Mahal kita. Palagi.
I was crying so hard when I finished reading his letter.. I should have read this noon pa! Hindi na sana kami nasayangan ng ilang taon..
I know and I can feel it is always been Trevor from then and now.. I love him so much..
I hug his letter and cried..
I heard a knock kaya tinago ko muna yun sa unan ko at inayos ang sarili bago buksan ang pinto..
Si Mama.
She looks worried when she saw me but I smiled.
"Nasa labas si James. Sumilip na siya dito kanina pero bumababa din at pinakiusap na after fifteen minutes tawagin kikta at sabihin na hinihintay ka niya sa labas." Sabi ni Mama.
