AUTHOR'S NOTE <33
A question has been in my mind ever since I've started to write. It keeps blowing in my mind like it is urgent to be answered.
'Why did you decided to write?' A question that up until now I don't know what is the answer.
But eventually, it's because of one night.. interior.. Maye's house, sala.. It's raining outside and the temperature is cold. A sad & cold night for my family in the sala.
We were peacefully sitting there.. staring at nowhere when my Mom spoked up. She started narrating how was her childhood back then. I'm listening from ear to heart because I want to her everything. Yes, everything.
In her eyes I saw with my both eyes how the sadness suddenly appeared there when she is talking about that childhood.
Isang mapait na emosyon ang lumandas sa kaniya ng ilahad niya kung gaano naging madamot ang mundo sa kaniya. Not only the world.. but her own family.
I'm really trying to hold back my tears as I can that time but it just suddenly came out of my eyes when she suddenly sobbed but still laughing like it is joke..
She told us how her being the 'panganay' responsibility to the family. She told us that she had to endure the sadness and longing just to go somewhere to work.. for her siblings to study. She had to sacrifice her own future for her youngers to make their own.
She narrate how sadness had killed her a million times.. how many sacrifices she makes. Then, she bear a child. Her oldest, my ate.. but then again she had to leave her to her mother because my Mama had to work away just to supply her needs. But my mom says that everytime she goes home, parang palagi daw marungis ang kaniyang anak na parang hindi niya nabibigyan ito ng mga pangangailangan niya.
There she confronted her mother.. but they ended up fighting because hindi raw siya nito pinapakinggan. But pinalayas. She's hurt. Really really hurt. After all the sacrifices, ni katiting na salamat, pang unawa wala?
Marami pang araw at pagkakataon na nagtatalo sila a mas malala pa.. and that push her to hate them. To build a strong foundation between her and her family.
She keep all her hatreds, pain and sadness in herself all throughout the years... because she had us. Her own family.
That night I understand everything. That night she have all my respect. That night sing laki ng mundo ang respeto ko para sa mga panganay ng kanilang pamilya na sinasakripisyo ang sarili para sa pamilya.
I was laying on the bed after that scene in our sala.. then out of nowhere I grabbed my phone and it bring me at the Wattpad App.
Again, a question comes out of my mind.
'How do you write a good story?'
But that moment I received no answer even from myself.. but I found myself tapping the "create your own story". There I let myself.. write. Write the alternate life I want for my Mama.. for atleast kahit sa wattpad naging masaya siya. Naging magaan at masaya ang kwento ng buhay niya. Na she don't have to feel that she's alone. I wrote a better ending for her.
—
In the past months I can't deny.. no, we all can't deny that we've talk to many guys/girls because how bored we are.
I admit that I talked with random guys but with same reasons.. hahaha! But there this one that comes different.
We've talked for weeks.. that I admit I was happy.. Really really happy.
I'm from a broken relationship. That is why talking to him again after my heartbreak makes me happy. We had deep talks about my life and his. We even shared secrets that we're afraid of someone to know.
