New Beginnings: A Hessa Story (2)

Chapter 84: Hardin

"So, how's your mom?" Landon questions me as we both go for a second slice of cake. Talking about my mum is still a sensitive topic, but an expected one considering the circumstance. It's been a month since the accident.

"She's doing better. I spoke with her yesterday morning when she called to wish me a happy birthday. She left the house for the first time today which is a good thing. She also..." I hesitate. "She also cleaned out the nursery."

"That's good to hear. Well, next time you speak to her, give her our best wishes and condolences."

I just nod my head and take another bite of cake. This is the first 'meal' I've had all day, so it's really hitting the damn spot. No amount of cake will make me feel less shitty when it comes to my mum. I don't want to talk about her anymore because the more I think about everything that's happened with her, the more sad I get for her. We've had a rocky relationship to say the least, but seeing her like that, so broken and depressed, it was really hard for me. She's my mum no matter what, and I do love her. I never want to see her suffer. Also, with the loss of the baby... thinking about that hurts the most. It only brings me back to the dark days of when Tessa miscarried. Those were some of the darkest days of my life, so the fact that my mother is experiencing the same thing pains me immensely.

"So any plans today?" Landon changes the topic.

"This." Tessa gestures to the four of us. "Eating cake in our pajamas."

"That sounds like a pretty awesome day. Though, if you guys want something to do, Nora and I got tickets to some light show happening in Prospect Park later tonight. It should be cool."

A light show? What the fuck is that? I know Tessa would love to go since she loves dumb shit like that, but I would rather do other things than travel to some park and watch lights for a couple hours. I know Tessa will disagree.

"Well, it is Hardin's birthday... well it's the day after Hardin's birthday... so he can decide." Tessa surprises me by saying.

"What do you want to do?" I ask, but secretly mean 'do you want to go? Because if you go I'll go, but I don't really want to go.'

"It's up to you."

Goddamn it, Tessa. She knows I fucking hate making choices about this kind of stuff. I can't tell if she wants to go or not. Maybe she wants me to decide because she secretly doesn't want to go and knows I'll say no, or maybe she's just testing me to see if I'll say yes to something I know she wants to do. I am too conflicted.

"No pressure." Landon interrupts my internal debate.

"I don't think..."

"It's okay. I figured you wouldn't, but I thought I'd offer." Landon shrugs, obviously not surprised that I declined.

Tessa doesn't seem upset either, so I hopefully made the right decision to not go. I'm sorry, but I just cannot sit there and watch lights flicker on and off. She places her hand on her stomach, and makes a strange face that doesn't look too good.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, my belly is just getting heavier and heavier." She sits down on the chair at our kitchen table. She groans as she adjusts herself to get more comfortable.

"I remember the feeling, Tessa. My back is so messed up from carrying Addy, but my stomach was bigger than yours at five months."

"I'm still not used to having all this extra weight."

"Oh my god. I just realized at five months you can find out the gender of the baby! Do you guys know?" Nora claps in excitement.

"No." I blurt out too quickly, so now we look suspicious.