New Beginnings: A Hessa Story (2)

Chapter 95: Tessa

"I hope so..." I whisper to myself after Hardin tells me that we won't change after we have this baby. It's so hard to tell. I don't want my child to have the same fate as Hardin and I had when it came to our parents. What if we have different parenting styles? What if Hardin gets so overwhelmed with being a father that he turns to alcohol to cope with it like his father did? What if I lose my mind and try to make my daughter my own little puppet like my mother did?

"What did you say?" Hardin raises my chin.

"Nothing, just me overanalyzing everything. The usual."

"Tessa, don't tell me you're backing out of being a parent now because it's a little too late for that." He bites his lip.

"Of course not!" I shove at his shoulder. "It's just hard to be 100% optimistic about us as parents when all the examples of parents we know were shitty ones." Okay, I'm starting to sound like Hardin.

"Remember what you told me? We'll use our parents as examples of what not to do."

"We can't be our parents, Hardin. I know you've been breaking promises recently, but promise me you won't become your father... well Ken... before he turned his life around." I'm almost positive we've made this promise before, but I want to hear it again.

His eyes widen as I stick out my pinky finger. "Promise me you won't become like your mother."

"I promise."

"Then I promise too." He wraps his pinky around mine and kisses his thumb. I do the same. "Now can we stop with this crazy talk and enjoy the rest of our night in this super expensive hotel room."

"Sure." I lay back against the comfy pillows on the bed, and Hardin joins me. "So, how exactly did you go off on Stacy? I need details." I can't help my curiosity.

"She just wouldn't shut up about me getting a room here, and was just being such an asshole all day today. I couldn't take it anymore. When I finally remembered the promise I made you, it made me realize how she's the reason I've been so distant from you lately."

I'm glad it's finally clicking for Hardin that Stacy isn't as harmless as he always proclaimed she was. "That makes sense."

"I just wish you hadn't left without telling me, that way you could've told me how you were feeling before. You had me walking around and panicking."

"I told Stacy to tell you..." Of course. She didn't say anything.

"Tell me what?"

"Forget it." I roll my eyes.

I can't believe that she didn't tell Hardin that I left early, after I asked her to. I didn't think she hated me so much that she wouldn't tell my husband that I decided to leave. I wonder if there have been any other instances where she didn't tell Hardin something I said.

"Don't do that, Tessa. Remember? Communicate?" He nudges my shoulder with a grin, but I don't see the humor in this situation.

"I told her to tell you I left, I spoke with her-"

"You did?" He is confused, therefore proving my theory that she didn't tell Hardin.

"Yeah, I did."

"Oh, well she probably forgot to mention it. It was a pretty busy day." Hardin chuckles as he pulls me closer. Is he defending her? What the hell? I push him away and sit up.

"Why are you defending her? She obviously didn't forget."

"Tessa, I don't think she's this big bad woman that I once thought she was. She told me a few things after I lashed out at her-"