New Beginnings: A Hessa Story (2)

Chapter 60: Tessa

Hardin and I walk down what feels like an endless hallway to Dr. Henry's office. My throat grows tighter with each step I take. After what I just witnessed with that couple only a few minutes ago, I'm more nervous than ever. Watching another couple go through yet another miscarriage does not give me a good feeling, especially with the way the man reacted. It was her second one, and he resented her. He resented her. I don't want Hardin to resent me.

'Please, if anyone up there is listening, please let this baby be okay.' I think to myself.

"Please have a seat, Ms. Young." She gestures to the examination chair with large stirrups at the ends. It's been a while since I've sat in one of these.

"Mr. Scott. How are you?" She reaches out her hand and shakes it with Hardin's.

"I'm doing well, thanks." Hardin answers, taking a seat in the normal sized chair next to mine.

"It's been a while since I've seen the two of you. Congratulations on your pregnancy."

"Thank you. We still can't believe this is happening."

Dr. Henry takes out a folder filled with papers. "Yes, I remember." She says to herself. "So the last time you got checked out was around a month ago at a clinic." She nods and continues to flip papers, reading millions of tiny words. "I'm going to take your blood pressure and weight."

She places the sphygmomanometer on my arm, and I only know this word because I was forced to take Anatomy and Physiology in high school. The word was so ridiculously long, it stayed in my mind even all these years later.

"And now, let me get your weight If you will step over here please."

I stand on the scale and notice I am only four pounds heavier than my normal weight. Don't woman usually gain crazy amounts of weight during pregnancy?

"Alright. Let's do an ultrasound. May I lift your shirt?" She asks, and I nod. Hardin walks over and grabs my hand, his eyes never leaving the monitor next to us. Suddenly, an image flashes on the screen of what looks like a blob. She swirls the probe around the cold gel on my stomach some more. She stops moving, and I can see something pop up on the screen. Dr. Henry begins pressing a ton of buttons, but I can't take my eyes off the screen. It looks like a baby with a face and hands and legs, which is weird since I'm so early in my pregnancy.

"Interesting." The doctor says, and my heart drops.

"What? Is something wrong?" I perk up, and Hardin's grip on my hand intensifies. He is squeezing the life out of it. She doesn't say anything, and my anxiety continues to grow. She's pressing a million buttons, the clicking sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

"It seems you are much farther along in your pregnancy than it says in your file." She says, still looking at the monitor.

"Really? How far along?"

"I would say... 20 weeks."

"Five months!?" I thought I was three at most, but now she's telling me I'm at five months. I don't look like a woman who is five months pregnant. It feels like I barely have a bump.

"Your baby is... smaller... than most would be at this time."

"Is that... is that bad?" Hardin asks, fear laced in his voice. I'm terrified to hear the answer.

"Not necessarily. You are around halfway through the pregnancy, so the baby has begun developing most of their organs, but they are smaller than we would like them to be. It's not a concern at the moment, but please make sure you are getting all your proper nutrients, and taking your supplements. You take your supplements, right?"

"I am, every morning. I eat a lot as well." I assure her. I have been eating like a madwoman ever since I found out I was pregnant. Now that the sickness phase has passed, I'm in the devour-any-food-put-in-front-of-me phase.

"Make sure you're eating iron rich food. Iron is important in supplying the baby with oxygen through hemoglobin found in the blood..."

She says a whole bunch of other technical things that I don't remember from my Anatomy class, but I can't stop thinking about how my baby is so small. Of course there would be problems, I was expecting them. It could be worse, and the doctor says it's not necessarily a problem.

"Other than the size, your baby looks good. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

"We can hear that?" Hardin looks at her confusingly, causing the doctor to smile and let out a little laugh.

"Yes, Mr. Scott."

She presses a few more buttons on her large monitor, and suddenly a fast and loud thump startles me. The heartbeat. My baby's heartbeat.

I look over at Hardin, and he is holding the same facial expression that I am. "That's our baby's heartbeat." I squeeze his hand.

"That's so weird." He scrunches his nose. It is weird, but it just makes this whole thing feel more real. Our baby is alive, and has a strong heartbeat.

"Since you are around five months, would you like to know the gender of the baby?"

"Gender?!" I nearly choke on the air I was breathing in. "Already?"

"Yes."

I look at Hardin yet again, who honestly looks like he's gonna pass out onto the floor. "It's up to you." He tells me.

Do I want to know the baby's gender? A part of me wants to be surprised, but the bigger, more impatient part of me wants to know now. I don't think I'm the type of girl that would have a gender reveal party, and I sure as hell know Hardin isn't the type of guy to want one either. This should be a moment shared between the two of us. Only the two of us. We can tell our family further down the line.

"Yeah. I want to know." I take Hardin's other hand in mine, and squeeze tightly. Now I'm the one who is cutting off his circulation.

Dr. Henry clicks more buttons and moves the probe more on my stomach. I hear something printing next to the monitor, and a bunch of ultrasound pictures come out.

"Congratulations! You're having a girl!" She smiles brightly.

I feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm gonna have a daughter. I'm having a baby girl with Hardin. Oh my god, Hardin. I look back over at his once more, and tears are streaming down his eyes.

"A girl!" I kiss his hand, and he leans over and kisses my forehead.

Dr. Henry wipes off the gel with a towel. It feels nice having it taken off my stomach. "I've seen many couples pass through my office doors, but I think you two are the strongest couple I've ever met. It's beautiful to see, honestly, and it's why I do my job. Seeing the faces of a young couple when they see their baby, it's priceless."

"Thank you." I sit up on the table.

"Ms. Young, if you would please strip your pants and underwear and put this over you." She holds up a sheet of cloth. "Let's give her some time to change." Dr. Henry excuses herself, and escorts Hardin out of the room, leaving me alone.

I undress myself, and sit back up on the examination chair. I look at the table next to the chair, and I see the ultrasound pictures, I grab them to get a better look. That little baby is growing inside of me. My body is doing what it's meant to be doing. Yes, she's a little small, but I'll start eating even more and taking more supplements so this baby can grow. Now that I know the baby's gender, I feel closer to her now more than ever. This only means that the pain of losing her would be much worse.