The Perfect Storm 2

Chapter 117

The disappointing look on my mother's face hasn't left my head even as Miles and I are running down a frozen hill that will eventually lead to my mother's house.

"I'm sorry," Miles says after a few minutes of complete silence as he leads me down the hill, holding my hand firmly in his. His hand feels warm but I stop in my tracks and let go.

"No, I'm sorry . . . maybe you were right, church . . . isn't everything," I admit even though I can feel the pain rush through me. 

Chruch has meant everything to me for as long as I can remember and now just like that, everything feels different. It wasn't the same, it wasn't what I expected and now that I had Miles with me, it was almost worse and love isn't supposed to feel worse.

"Babe—"

"No, I'm . . . it's true," I say, my eyebrows furrowing together slightly as I shake my head.

"Madison, I should be sorry okay? I knew how much that shit meant to you and I still . . . I fucked it up like I do everything, but I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to make everything better, I'm trying to change, but it's fucking difficult." He admits, his tone steady and clear as his eyes look right into mine.

"I . . . " I look up at him as I try to steady my breath from the amount of running we did.

"I don't want to belong a place that judges us . . . that judges you," I admit.

"Maybe we'll go to another church, but this one, I'm not going back . . . I don't want to go back." I say. I don't belong in Ohio or in Washington, I belong right here, beside him—beside Miles. 

He gives me a small smile as his dark hazel eyes look into mine. He runs his fingers through his hair before licking his lips and letting his eyebrows rise slightly.

"I love you, Madison." He says.

"And no matter who judges us, whether her name is betty or Jace, I'm on your side. Whatever you want, that's what we'll do, even if that is a fucked up church on Christmas." He says and a rush runs through me, a different kind of rush, a rush I felt when he said the words for the first time and I know exactly how I feel about him and I want to say it for the rest of my life.

"I love you, Miles," I say, letting a few tears drop onto my cheeks as I smile through the words that have just left my lips, leaving me head over heels for the boy in front of me—the boy that confused me so much, the boy in all black, the boy with walls so high, no one can climb them but no one needs to. 

He handed me the key, I am the key to his mess and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now let's go and fucking celebrate Christmas for once." He says before his strong arms grab me into them and carry me down the steep hill.

"For the first time." I smile even though my smile is buried in his head of hair.

"With many, many more to come." He says and I can sense a smile through his raspy tone. It sounds like a mixture between a chuckle and a laugh but without neither detected, I know he's smiling.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He says, his voice raspy and he lets me go back onto the ground.

"What?" I ask, looking up at him.

"What's wrong? Ever since you got back home this morning—"

"It's just Jace," I admit.

"He's hurt and I don't know—"

"He's the one that's hurt?" Miles's eyes are wide as he scoffs the words out of his pink lips. His hands fall to his sides and I know that he's about to insult Jace in some way.

"That dude is unbelievable . . ." Miles says and I know that his famous line is about to come out of his mouth, "un-fucking-believable." He sighs.

"Miles . . . he's allowed to feel that way, I hurt him. I neglected him and I choose you instead of him." I explain, defending Jace even though I don't agree with his sudden shift in personality.

"Shouldn't the guy move on or something?" Miles smirks.

"Maybe, but you didn't move on from me either," I explain and his eyes shift down to the ground before his jaw clenches. His eyes shift back to look at me with a smile.

"Whatever." Miles huffs before picking me back up, making giggles escape my lips. 

As we walk down the hill, I can finally see my mother's house from afar and it doesn't take long before we're right in front of the doorstep only to realize that my mother and betty are already there. 

I feel my heart pound in my chest as Miles puts me back on the ground. Betty gives me a glare and I gulp while Miles glares back at her with the most confident smirk he can muster.

"Thank you, Betty. I'll be in touch." My mother says and I know it's her way to tell Betty to leave which I'm thankful for. 

But what I'm not thankful for is causing a big enough scene for my mom to see exactly where Miles's hand was. I gulp as Betty walks past me, I almost can't feel my body or the nerves running through me, I feel numb. I lied to my mother and now that lie is firing back, letting my mother see exactly what I lied about.

"I'll, uh, leave you two for a second," Miles says, looking down at the floor before giving me a small smile and turning on his heel before disappearing through the door. I gulp as I look at my mother, my heart starts to race and my palms begin to feel sweaty.

"We need to talk." My mother says quietly while her serious eyes look right through me. I gulp again as I watch her sit down, her eyes shifting on the floor for only a second before being fixed on me again.

"About what?" I manage through my week nerves.

"Saving yourself, or has that already went out the window?" My mother asks and I want to escape, but I can't, I'm stuck facing her eyes.

"I . . . I—" No words can come out and I feel completely and utterly stuck.

"You've slept with Miles, haven't you?" She asks and I nod, with a few tears escaping through the corners of my lips.

"Oh, Madison. You know that's a sin."

"I tried to tell you that as a child, for generations, we've waited for fo marriage, you can't break that chain in our family. Oh, Madison, how could you let him take something so special from you?"

"He didn't take anything from me. It was something we both decided to give each other." I explain.

"But you aren't his first, are you? You gave yourself to him but he has already given himself to someone else." My mother says and I feel a sting in my heart. 

Somehow through everything Miles and I have gone through, I've never thought of it this way. Somehow it slipped my mind that Miles had been with almost everyone in the school before me. It didn't even hit me when he told me about the games he and Jacob competed in. 

I was so caught up in just being with him that I didn't realize any of this even though it was dangling right in front of me.