The Perfect Storm 2

Chapter 100

The tears start to pour as I flip through all of the pages and I can't even look at him.

"Madison—" He starts, his voice quiet, begging for forgiveness.

"No! You don't get to be like this, to keep this away from me and dare to ask for another chance." I shake my head, letting the tears flow. 

My eyes feel like they're burning and I know that by tomorrow morning, I'll get puffy red eyes, all because of this—all because of Miles. In fact, all of the hurt I've experienced has mostly been because of him. 

My eyes scan through the pages as I take in everything on them. My fingers run through the scribbles.

"I can't believe you." I cry as I remember each and every time I saw this book. One of the first times Miles and I were in class together, he had this book with him. 

He asked me for a pen and he scribbled down some numbers that I couldn't understand, but now I do. At the top page of every page are names that I can't recognize and next to them a number—and next to mine, the number one-hundred. 

I gulp as I look at my page for the third time now, my eyes have scanned the page but I still can't process the hurt that s about to follow when I truly admit to myself what this is.

"These are descriptions of all the time we've kissed, held hand and . . . and—" I can't finish, the thought of Miles keeping all of this in a notebook makes me sick. 

Not only are these pages full of descriptions, of the places, they're full of numbers of times we've done all of these things.

"I was going to tell you in the basement when Jacob and I admitted to everything but I . . . I guess I got so drunk that I—"

"Forgot." I finish for him. The pathetic excuse makes me sick to my stomach.

"Yeah." He breathes and I feel even worse.

"I gave you another chance I—"

"And you still can." He jumps and I want to laugh.

"No . . . I can't." I breathe, letting my broken heart talk through me. Miles leans forward, his eyes staring right into mine before looking down at his black old skool vans.

"You should have told me, and it's unfair for me to find out about this after giving you a second chance. I just can't believe you." I breathe and Miles looks up at me, and even though he isn't showing it, I can almost feel the confusion in his eyes.

Miles's POV

I look up at her, her eyes on mine as the water in them drips down her cheeks. Seeing her this way makes my heart twitch.

"Madison, you can't seriously be thinking this way. What difference does it make? I would have told you and you still would have given me a second chance—" I stop realizing how I must have sounded. Fuck. This was my only fucking chance and I fucking blew it like I always do. 

I was ready to do anything for this girl and now my chances might just have flown out the damn window.

"Forget that I ever gave you a second chance, Miles. I don't belong here, and I don't belong with you. I've known that for a while now . . ." she looks down at the ground.

"And maybe it's time I finally admit it to myself. So, thank you, Miles, for opening up my eyes." She looks at me and I want to rip my fucking hair out. 

The most forgiving innocent fucking girl in this whole damn state and I managed to screw even her over—I managed to hurt her.

"Please, leave." She says, her voice barely audible as it's covered by the sounds of her tears.

"I want you to leave." She says and I part my lips even though she so clearly doesn't want me to speak.

"Madison, please. I'm willing to do anything and I haven't given up on that." I breathe, looking right into her beautiful light hazel eyes.

"I don't even care that you're doing this a day before my birthday, I'm willing to beg you Madison, I need a second chance." I breathe, watching her, tempted to hold her hands in mine and just fucking show her how damn much I need her. 

The dark-brown haired girl with beautiful light-hazel eyes that walked into my life so suddenly changed everything, it's because of her that I kept fucking up. I've never felt the way I do with her and I can't let that feeling go--she stole my heart.

"It's too late." She cries and I clench my jaw. She won't even look at me. Maybe this time it really is too late to clean up my fuck-ups.