The Perfect Storm 2

Chapter 163

After shopping for what feels like five hours, my legs are barely able to walk, I feel as though I'll collapse any minute. 

We've been walking around back and forth into almost every store and I still can't wrap my head around Jacve and Rosie. Why would he have lied to me? why didn't he tell me? He looked at her as if he barely knew her and now they're apparently dating. 

My brain physically hurts with all of the thoughts rushing through it for the past almost week. I rub my temples and Stephanie notices the ache in my head.

"Are you okay?" The question hits me again, but this time I know she's not asking about Miles, and this time I can answer a truthful, "Yes."

"I'm just . . . I don't know." I shake my head with a smile as Stephanie gestures for me to sit next to her with our second order of coffees.

"You know you can trust me right?" She looks up at me, her eyes firm and soft at the same time as if she really is the kind person she says she is.

"Mhm." I nod at her sincerely.

"So what's wrong?" She asks with a small smile.

"It's just, Jace has a girlfriend and I didn't expect that. He never mentioned his roommate and not like that."

"Did Cody tell you?" Stephanie asks, her thin eyebrow raised. I nod.

"I know this might be a little weird but . . . do you think he might be lying?" Stephanie suggests and I shake my head.

"I . . . I haven't thought about that, but why would he—"

"Madison." Stephanie stops, pressing her lips into a line before putting her hand on mine.

"You're hot, okay?" My mind instantly goes to Miles and the way he used to ask me 'Okay?'

"Are you there?" Stephanie asks and I nod.

"Yeah, sorry," I say, not having heard any of the words that came out of her mouth for the past minute.

"Look, all I'm saying is that guys like you and they . . . well a lot of them lie their way through a lot of things even if they're hot like Cody," Stephanie explains and I bite at my lip before giving her a nod.

"Maybe you're right." I smile at her, thinking about the words in my own head and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

OUR SHOPPING BAGS COVER THE fluffy carpet in our dorm room and I'm happy that I can finally sit down after the long day. I'm glad to finally be able to relax and breathe after the crowded mall.

"You coming to class?" Stephanie asks, we both agreed to skip the first introductory class for shopping but the second one is crucial since it's a completely new class.

"No, I have to catch up on some things." I lie and she nods with a small smile..

"See you in a few." She says and clicks the door closed behind her. I can't blame Cody for lying especially since I just lied to Stephanie. Not all liers are bad and neither am I. Friday is tomorrow and I still can't wrap my head around going with Cody. 

It feels so wrong as if he belongs to a completely new life that I'm not a part of as if I'm somehow jumping between worlds even though I so clearly belong in the world of Miles. 

But I owe it to myself to try something new, something outside of Miles. I need to get out of the vicious cycle of his touch, his love, and his presence. 

I turn off the light in the dorm room and let the natural light come inside instead. I climb on top of my desk and stare outside the window. I grab Miles's letter and re-read it ten times over before grabbing the lunch box my mother gave me and sobbing as I stick a fork full of whatever is in that box into my mouth. 

My mother was right, it does remind me of home except I didn't know I'd miss home this much. I gulp down the tears and the pain behind them as I stare out the window.

"What are you doing right now, Miles? are you crying like I am?" I sniffle the words out the window, hoping to get an answer but nothing happens and I'm left alone in a quiet room feeling worse than before.

STEPHANIE WALKS INTO THE DORM ROOM after what feels like a good half an hour of silence and my head instantly darts to face hers.

"Are you okay?" she asks that question again.

"I'm fine." Another lie. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep something like this up because I'm slowly going crazy with everything inside my own head.

"I think I'm just a little stir-crazy in this dorm." I feed her another lie that I want to mentally slap myself for.

"I totally get it, but tomorrow is coming sooner than you think. You'll be okay, Madison." She offers me a sweet smile and I nod.

"I think I'm going to head to the library, you know to, um, catch up, since I missed all the classes today," I tell her and she nods with a kind smile of her own. 

I take a deep breath before grabbing my bag and leaving the dorm room. Only halfway to the library, I realize that my backpack is empty for the most part, all I have in there is the laptop that I haven't used for a while and notebooks with scribbled pages from last semester. 

I check the list on my phone, provided by the school that lets me know which books I'm supposed to buy for this year and even though I barely have anything left to cover everything, I know I need this the most. I need it for myself and my mom. 

I slowly walk into the book shop, mesmerized by all the fictional books and their beautiful covers and even though I haven't read a single book since was a child, I can't help but want to purchase all of them, even if just to have them sitting beautifully on a shelf. 

But I quickly turn my head away, keeping my eyes on the study books I need. Creative writing books along with some other subject books fill my hands and before I know it I'm swiping my card for an amount I'm not sure I can handle. 

I smile at the cashier before heading back out of the shop only to be haunted by the coffee shop Miles and I once sat at. It was back when I was dating Jacob, back when everything felt so normal but it wasn't, even back then it wasn't normal and now looking back I realize just how sickening I feel to picture myself with anyone but Miles, and yet I'm forcing myself to see myself with anyone but him. 

I feel my phone vibrate at the thought of him and I jump to the phone, secretly hoping I'll see his name, but instead I see an email from Mr. Staffod telling me how surprised he was at my amazing essay. 

I take a deep breath, turn my phone off, order the third caramel frappuccino of the day and take a seat in the library where I'm going to spend the next five hours in, thinking of nothing but school and clearing him out of my life and thoughts completely.