The Perfect Storm 2

Chapter 122

Miles's POV

"Fucking Pullman," I whisper as I look at the empty seat beside me. 

Right after talking, Madison said she needed the bathroom which I'm not so sure I believe now that she's been in the gas station for almost forty minutes. She looked teary-eyed and yet when I tried to talk to her she wouldn't let me, saying it really was just needing a bathroom. 

I stare at myself in the rearview mirror, pulling at my dark hair as my almost brown looking eyes stare back at me, haunting me. 

 I clench my jaw and flick the damn mirror to the side. My phone kept buzzing and knowing that the person trying to get a hold of me is a fucking asshole just like me. Having my bitch of a mom trying to convince me to live with her again and now having my prick of a dad harassing me with phone calls isn't exactly the best mix. 

As I look at the screen full of missed calls and messages, another call starts to bombard itself through to my phone. I turn off the phone and throw it into the backseat before opening the door and slamming it shut right after I step out and my old skool black vans hit the pavement. I had these damn shoes colored in black. 

I quickly put on shades as I slowly walk into the gas station, my jaw clenches as my fingers grip onto the handle of his fucking shell of a place. The handle is cold and as soon as I step foot inside, I give the cashier a side smile since he's eyeing everything about me. I lick my lips and walk slowly to the bathrooms. 

The men's one is open and the women's is closed. I knock on the door a few times without an answer and as I try the handle, she finally opens. For a second I just stare at her unsure of what to say as I look at her hands resting right below her waist.

"Is everything--"

"I'm just . . . bleeding." She whispers the last part and I'm unsure of how to act.

"Oh, uh, do you need pads or something?" I ask, ready to scramble to look for anything I can find but she stops me. She shakes her head.

"I have some." She says, looking down at the floor as if she's embarrassed.

"But it . . . it went through." She finally says, looking up at me with her hazel eyes—the ones I love so much—the only eyes I've ever loved.

"Oh, uh, here," I say almost fumbling over my damn words. I quickly take off my jacket, letting her wrap it around herself and her black leggings.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my eyebrows raising slightly at her and she nods.

"I just want to go home." She stops before adding, "to Washington." I nod and give her the keys to my car, "I'll be a sec." I say and she nods before leaving. I quickly something that looks almost like a small basket. 

The light blue makes me uncertain for a few second but as I look at her in the car, staring at the windshield in front of her, I grab the damn thing, head to the collars, grab water then ice cream, chocolate bars, and by the time I've walked over the whole damn store, the basket is full. 

The cashier stares at me with slightly parted lips before I take off my shades and glare at him. He then quickly fixes his eyes and instead of looking at me, he looks at the basket.

"You should get her this, too." He says, pointing at the gum beside him and without saying a word, I take a pack of pink gum into the basket too before putting the shades back on, trying to avoid the sun outside that seems to shine brighter with the snow. He scans the items and opens his mouth again, "fifty dollars and forty-nine cents." He says and I roll my eyes, taking a hundred dollar bill out of my pocket. "keep the change." I say and rush outside back to the car like a hillbilly with the fucking blue basket in my hands.

"I, um . . . I got you this."I tell her as soon as I sit down in the front seat. She looks at me with a smile on her face.

"Thank you." She says sweetly as she looks up at me and I'm glad I got her all of this junk food. She grabs the Ice cream, unwraps it, and bites the chocolate, sucking on the frozen cream underneath.

"I'm sorry, okay? But I don't see myself to anyone—"

"Not even to me?" She asks, looking up at me again and I clench my jaw this stim, letting my foot press harshly on the gas.

"No," I say, my voice raspy and quiet. I don't want to lie to her, I've seen where that has taken me and even though I'm not ready to change in a way where I'll get punched by Jack, I'm ready, to be honest with her. The more time I spend with this girl, the less control I have and the more I need her which is exactly why if she needs to let me go now, I want to rip off the damn band-aid before it's too late.

"Why?" she asks, licking her ice cream while her features are soft, sad even.

"I don't know, It's not something I've ever wanted and not something I'm going to start wanting now," I explain.

"Am I not special enough?" she asks into the air in front of her, the ice cream is now in her hands. She's holding tightly onto the wooden stick as her eyes watch the broken chocolate on top which reminds me of how I'm feeling right now—broken.

Madison's POV

I bite my lip, trying not to let my breathing get more rapid. It'll only make me cry again, crying in the bathroom wasn't enough. I can't imagine my future without Miles and I can't imagine it being without children, without Santa Monica, and without a ring on my finger. 

Ever since I was a child, it's been something I've dreamed of and now my dreams are facing reality. After all of this time, after everything all of my dreams, all of my thoughts and plans about which wedding dress I would wear, what my wedding would look like, daydreaming out of my mother's kitchen window about turning twenty-one, going to our local church and getting married, all of this is now out the window.

"You are, Madison. You're the most special girl I've met, but marriage and kids are something I can't give you." Miles says, pulling at his hair.

"Then I can't be with you," I say, gulping down the feelings inside of me. 

He stays silent but quickly parts his lips, "like I said, maybe we're just not right for each other." His words hit me like electricity and this time it's not the good kind.

"I think you're right." I swallow the pain while I look out of the window. He stays silent and I feel my heartbreak even more.

"I'm sorry." He says and I shake my head.

"'Sorry' doesn't let us have a future together," I say and he looks o the side with a clenched jaw as if ignoring the truth, but the truth hurts and so does everything around Miles.

"It doesn't convince you that we don't need kids when we have each other and we don't need marriage when we know we'll be together . . ." he stops for a second before adding, "but it's all I can give you—all I can give you is me and an apology for being me." He says and I gulp down the tears from bursting.

I know that's all I should need. All I should need is him and everything he has to give but we're too different, and no matter how much I'd want to stay with him, I can't picture myself without children, without my mother being a grandmother and without getting married and knowing that Miles is mine and I'm his through everything--until death do us part. I'd never be happy even if I had Miles, I'd never be truly fulfilled.