Always Forever

Chapter 19

On the drive home all I can think about is Thandi telling me she fell for me. There's nothing else on my mind.

I can't say I'm not flattered, but I doubt I'm even ready to commit myself to someone. Give my all into someone and something just to be fucked over again. Nahhh. I'm good with that shit.

It is what it is at this point. Even if I decide to actually date her, I don't trust myself. There's a time we all grow from moving from one person to the next without commitment to actually committing. I seriously doubt I've passed that stage.

Lerato and I got together when we were both still young and now that I have freedom, I wanna enjoy it. Just need to live a little.

I get home and go to the "music room" (It's not really a music room, but we call it that cause that's where we usually play music when we have a party or have a function. It plays throughout the entire house.)

I connect my phone to the speakers and press shuffle play. Can I by Tank plays then I lay down on the couch in the living room.

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THANDILE'S POV

Since Aviwe left I haven't been okay. I have stopped crying, but knowing that she knows how I feel makes me a bit nervous.

Even though a part of me is relieved another part regrets telling her. I mean if I didn't tell her, I could just apologize for going through her phone, and considering the kinda person she is, she was gonna forgive me and we were gonna be fine again.

Thinking that things might not be the same after that confession gets to me. It'd be better to have her as a friend than a stranger.

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AVIWE'S POV

I'm woken up by someone shouting my name. I slowly open my eyes and see my mother looking down at me. I sit up then rub my eyes.

"Why is your music so loud?" She asks.

"Oh sorry."

"Aviwe what's going on?" She asks sitting down next to me.

"Nex." I say.
(Nothing)

"Aviwe I can see you not fine. You haven't been since uThandile was here." She says.

"Ayonto mama." I say then rub my eye.
(It's nothing mama)

She stands up then leaves.

I get up then go grab my phone from the music room. I disconnect it from the speakers then go upstairs to my room.

I connect my phone to my speaker then resume the song that was playing which is The Line by dvsn.

Thandile really got me thinking about this. If it was someone else I wouldn't even be wrecking my brain thinking about it, but I don't know with her man. It's just something about her.

I really don't wanna lose her. Ever since her and I started speaking, I've always wanted to be around her, but then again, there being Miss Motaung, I also love being around her.

There is something about the both of them that makes me not to wanna leave them. Why did I have to do this to myself.

My phone rings and when I look to see who it is it's my brother. I really don't feel like speaking to anyone right now.

I have three siblings, one in first year varsity, second is working and last one is still on the way.

So my brother being in varsity, he left this year and I could say I'm closer to him. We talk everyday via chats. So him calling is a surprise considering he never has airtime, but anyways.