Always Forever

Chapter 88

THANDILE POV

Its been an entire week since Aviwe and last I spoke and I've been going through it. I'd like to believe I'm better than the first day, but I'm really not. I just feel I'm not getting over it, let alone heal.

My mother tried, she even working from home these days just so she's here. Olwethu and Akhona always come over just so we can chill, and not gonna lie, when they come, I do forget everything that's happening, then they leave and everything comes back.

I mean even if they'd stay, when I go sleep, it's all I think about. How did I let myself fall so hard for Aviwe when I knew the person she was. It's stupid to be honest.

I don't even know if her and I are still together cause she's been off, and she still hasn't hit me up. I want to hit her up, but I said alot of things I regret. I know it's my fault things went this far, to even bring up a breakup but I was angry.

I was all kinds of emotions and sadly I let emotions get the best of me, and as always, Aviwe was just protecting herself by telling me shit she never would've told me just randomly.

I know Aviwe. We have argued multiple times when we were together, but she never blew up like she did that day. I think I hit a spot, that I might regret hitting.

I really don't wanna lose her, I actually pray everyday asking God to save this relationship, if that's what it is, but how do I go about playing my part, when I don't even know where I stand in her life.

Her friends tell me that nothing will ever change how she feels for me, but how do I believe that? Aviwe has never gone a day without messaging me. Even if I piss her off, or I'm the cause of an argument she is always the person to apologize and come back.

Now she's not coming back and it's scary. I think that's why I'm getting worse day by day instead of getting better and forgetting about it. I guess I'm not supposed to forget, I don't know.

But I mean I've gone a week without talking to her, so atleast I'm not gonna die, but this week felt like an entire year. I feel I'm without the one thing that was apart of my day, my routine and now it changed and it's gone, now I'm expected to adapt. Can someone please tell me I'm not trippin.

When I tell you, for two straight days, after Aviwe told me she needed a break I didn't eat anything. I felt like puking, everything was painful, I was weak, I couldn't do anything. The smell of food was even disgusting.

Sleeping was another thing I couldn't do. I was finally able to sleep when my mother figured it would be better if she slept with me and I wasn't alone.

Sometimes I even just sit on her insta account and just look at her posts. I can't go to my gallery and look at those pictures, cause most I took and we together and that just brings back memories.

She has even disabled our couples page, which came as a surprise to me. I tried activating it again, but she changed the password on this one too. I just don't know anymore.

Anything that might join us together has been cancelled. Tick tock, YouTube, Instagram. Which begs the question, does she still even have my pictures on her phone, or did she just change everything and anything that associated us together.

Guys, I'm not surviving. This is just half of what is going through my mind right now, this isn't even close to what I've been thinking of and going through this last week.

I even have a headache from thinking about this. I go downstairs to the kitchen and grab some painkillers. "And then?" My mother asks.

"I have a headache." I say then walk to her.

"Let's go bond. I need you to stop thinking of Aviwe." She says then I smile and nod my head. She goes to the garage and grabs board games. Her and my dad set everything up then Olwethu comes in.

"Ooo. Glad you here. Now instead of this, we can play thirty seconds." My dad says putting the cards away then I smile and shake my head.

"I need someone smart." He says then looks at the three of us.

His eyes land on my mom. "Olwethu, what do you say?" He says changing his stance then my mother throws a chip at him.

I laugh. "Wow Tata." I say then he shrugs his shoulders.

"Last time I was with you, we lost." He says.

"Cause you didn't know anything." I say then he makes a funny face.

"We'll see." He says.

"But this match up isn't fair. Y'all are gonna lose so badly it's not even funny." I say then my mother high fives me.

"He chose it." She says then I shrug my shoulders then we start playing.