Always Forever

Chapter 79

Thandi and I finished showering hours ago and we were in bed watching a movie on Netflix.

We were cuddled up. My head was rested on her chest and she was brushing my head with her nails.

Everyone left an hour ago going back to their homes, mostly cause my parents were coming back tomorrow morning, so it was just her and I.

I had not even been concentrating on the movie cause, I feel I need to speak to her about that whole Phindile situation, but I don't know how to go about telling her, or starting that conversation. Kamva is kinda right. Its not that deep, but in that period of my time I went through alot, which made me the person I am today.

I don't even feel it's something I should be telling her cause it doesn't involve her in any kind of way, but Phindile put this thing in her head and now I'm the one who's left to put her mind at ease. Since she wanted to be the saviour and bring it up to her, why didn't she tell her.

Some exes I have. I don't know why I keep attracting people like this. Honestly sick and tired of it. Sad thing is whatever that hun does, I'll never be angry enough to cut her off. I swear the heart is the dumbest and most annoying organ in the body. I'm unable to can.

I grab the remote and pause the movie then turn my body so I'm laying on my stomach looking at Thandi.

"I believe you asked me something earlier today and I didn't give you an honest answer." I say taking in a deep breath. She nods her head and looks at me waiting for me to speak.

"Well, let me just get straight into it. But first-" I say then take a water bottle from the pedestal and finish the whole bottle in one gulp.

I lick my lips then look at her and she also looks at me. "Okay, so the story of how I became the cheating, heartless, nonchalant person I am..." I say tryna recall everything.

"You not all those things. The opposite actually." She says with a soft smile. I smile and nod my head.

"Yeah, cause of you, but I wasn't that person before. You actually met me whilst I was healing." I say then she kisses me on my forehead.

"Well I'm glad I did." She says then I smile. Damn, she perfect it's hella unbelievable. I deadass don't deserve this hun. Sometimes I wonder how she still managed to stick around cause shit, if I was her, I'd most probably been gone even before the relationship started.

"Yeah, so, let's start from the beginning." I say.

"Okay, see how I told you and everyone that Lerato was my first everything. So girlfriend, love, heartbreak, and other things... Well it was actually Phindile."

"Phindile and I initially met in grade five and we were in the same class. So vele I was a quiet and anti-social person. So we were put next to each other in some of our subjects classrooms and well, she was a sweet, social, beautiful being."

"Uhhh, she was the first to break the ice between the two of us, and well, I don't wanna say I was skeptical cause what the fuck I know bout being skeptical at eleven? So I think after a week we hit it off and we became really close within a month? Uhm and we were good friends and cool, until well grade six came, and uhm she became kinda distant, if I can say..."

"I tried getting to her at the time, but she was unreachable, so I kinda gave up on that. Soon after she uhm came back and I allowed her. Uh, I think, if I'm not mistaken, beginning March, she told me she liked me. I mean this time we kids, I'm still on the thing of dating is just a trend, and shit like that. She was actually also the person who made me explore my sexuality."

"So with that being said, I- we gave things a try, and that time I hadn't even met Lerato yet. Grade six was also the year whereas we were starting to learn bout proper life skills, so as time went by, we didn't know this, or it was more for popularity at the time, but we had fallen in love with one another without realising."