You On Me

XXXV

"Dad?" I couldn't believe what I'm seeing. I am surprised, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, and all the fucking synonyms to that. I felt like I'm in a dream, and at the same time, I'm experiencing my worst nightmare.

I met him. I finally met my father after seven years. I shouldn't be here in the same place with him, breathing the same air with him, but there's something that prevents me from doing it. I should have been walking away from him now, but he made me become paralyzed.

His eyes held nostalgia, and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but all the memories before he started getting himself into no good, came to me like a wave. His eyes hid a lot of memories, secrets, and words. I missed him as the good father I had.

"You've grown so much. You looked like me, the younger me." He flashed a faint smile and motioned me to sit on the chair across him. I followed him, and I felt like a dog following its human. I was too speechless that my head is swirling around. It felt as if my head got cut off from my body because it's reacting differently.

I badly want to get away from him, but I couldn't. He caused us pain, and it affected us a lot. Why am I acting like this? Why can't I say no? Frustrating as fuck.

"How's Yujin? Is she doing okay?" I nodded. I pinched myself to bring myself back to reality.

"Why are you acting as if nothing happened?" I snapped. He tried holding my hand, but I didn't let him and put them on my lap. I saw how his eyes displayed agony, and I suddenly felt guilty.

No, don't fucking feel that way, Y/N. Keep your shit together.

"What is happening, and what are you trying to do to Dahyun and Tzuyu? Please, don't act like your behavior didn't affect us at all." I looked down once I finished, blinking many times to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm trying, Y/N, but they keep coming back to me." He choked up, but he still managed to say his words. I looked up, and I was met by him bursting into tears. "I went into rehab many times, but they would make me go back to this addiction I'm trying to stop."

"Who are you talking about?" I asked. He smiled once he knew I settled down and wiped his tears.

"My friends." He replied. "I hid a lot of times. I ran away, but they would still find me in the end. It's never-ending stress and frustration. It's tiring." I wiped my first tear of this night and let him hold my hand. I didn't expect that there's a reason behind his drug addiction.

"Please, forgive me for everything I've done. I didn't mean to do it." I finally burst into tears, unguarded myself, and let my feelings out. Fuck this shit. That is a sensitive topic for me, and his revelation is already a lot to take all in one.

"Dahyun." He spoke again. "Dahyun... is your sister from another man." He said and sniffed. I looked at him in shock, and he only smiled through the pain. "I only found out recently. The father is one of my friends." He continued, and it's only hurting himself more.

"How about Tzuyu?"

"Tzuyu is nothing to do with this. She's one of my friends' daughter." I nodded and continued to wipe my tears off. "They made a deal if I threw them to the prostitution house, they would stop coming to me." Who in the fucking fuck would throw their children in that shit ass place? Should I find and kill these shitty friends he's talking about then?

It made my sadness go away and got replaced with anger. "I was glad that you came. It knocked the drugs off my body." I looked straight into his eyes, and I could see nothing but honesty. Tonight is the first time I've seen him so sincere, and it's making me forget my trust issues.

If he's lying, fuck my life.

"Can I hug you before I go away? I promise this would be the last time you're going to see me again." I stood up in my seat, waited for him to get closer to me, and gladly took him in my arms.

Everything felt so unreal. I felt the home I was trying to find before. I never thought I would find it, especially in my father's arms.

"I'm really sorry about everything, my child. Thank you for letting me speak my side." He told me and hugged me tighter. "Tell Yujin that I miss her." He added, and he suddenly took the gun resting on my back before pushing me away.

"I love you both." He mouthed with a smile before he pointed the gun to his head.

"No!" I shouted, but it was too late. I didn't think that this is what he meant by going away.

The door opened, revealing Yoongi and the others while I watched his blood coming out of his head in a daze. Yoongi instinctively ran to me and pulled me for a tight hug. I couldn't believe I witnessed my father killing himself in front of me, right in front of my fucking eyes with my own fucking gun.

I felt so much pain, and my chest felt so heavy that I felt like I'm about to collapse sooner or later. Is this what it feels like losing someone you love? It fucking hurts. All of this is much worse than the pain he made me feel.

Because, after all, he's someone who became special to me. Nothing and no one could change the fact that he's still our father who raised us. He might be the villain of my life, but he's still the father we loved.

Villains aren't born to be sick. They are made to be one. In some movies, rather than showing their side, they focused on the good itself. When in fact, no one is pure good nor pure evil.

"Let's take you home." Yoongi said and dragged me out of the apartment. He guided me down the stairs until we arrived in front of the car. The others followed with Jungkook driving. As we had a safe distance from the apartment complex, we heard police sirens throughout the area.

I fell into a trance as I was staring outside the window. If it isn't for Yoongi, I will not move an inch. I looked at him, and he pointed to the other side. We're at my apartment. Jungkook went out of his seat and opened the door for me as he also voluntarily walked me to the front door.

He rang the doorbell before running away, leaving me alone. The door got opened by Yujin, and I immediately had a breakdown when I saw her face. "What...? What happened?" She asked me as we got inside while looking at me worriedly. I didn't even notice that Sana, Minjoo, and Tzuyu are watching us.

"Dahyun... Mom, Dad..." I jumbled them up as I couldn't form the right sentence to say. All those secrets he revealed, and when he pulled the trigger right in front of me is still a shock.

"Calm down." Yujin said and drew circles in my back for comfort. It took me a few minutes to clear my mind. I pushed her slightly away from me and informed her.

"I met Dad and talked with him." She gasped. "He told me a lot of things, and he wanted to tell you that he missed you, then he... he killed himself in front of me." She pulled me for a hug and started to cry on my shoulder. I teared up when I heard my sister's sobs.

"Yujin, it fucking hurts."

———
AN: Fun fact: I teared up while writing this. I don't even know why I felt so emotional, but I did. It might be because of the mood since it was raining and I was listening to 'HEARTBREAK ANNIVERSARY' by Giveon on repeat even though it doesn't make any relation or sense with this 😂

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the 35th chapter 😬👋🏼