Without You

69. I Can't Go Back to Normal

A/N - Goodness me! I am almost ashamed to show my face here, if I'm honest. I am so, SO sorry for making you wait sooooo long for updates! These past two months have been a blur, with a lot going on professionally that's been eating up much of my time and energy. If I'm honest, I'm not sure if any of what I've written in this chapter (the whole book, even!) is any good - actually, I'm pretty sure it's all rubbish! - but at least it's an update! I am going to try (operative word being *try*) to update as often as I can going forward. And I know this story is dragging, but I'm just letting it write itself. There were a bunch of little plot points I wanted to cover, so please bear with me. 

I would say that if anyone is actually still reading this story apart from my few friends, it would be a miracle, but there have been an insane number of people reading it lately! Thank you ever so much to each and everyone of you, I really do appreciate you all! Now I'll stop waffling on and let you get on with reading the chapter. My sincere apologies if it's rubbish! 🙈 

Thanks again, and stay safe wherever you are in the world! -H. x

Fretful tossing and turning. The odd snatch of an anxious murmur. Sweat glistening on their brow. Hands fisted tightly into the duvet and fractiously twisting it in their grip.

Hardly the picture of someone enjoying a restful sleep.

And in the doorway, another person watched on. Overtired and overemotional. Utterly exhausted both emotionally and physically yet unable to sleep a wink. Heart aching at what they were witnessing, but wholly unable to tear themselves away. Tears slowly rolled silently down their face as they watched on, only for them to jerk away from the doorframe in alarm and quickly exit the room when the other person's eyes flew open with a gasp.

~~~

His heart was racing, hands shaking, lungs pumping, his entire body clammy with a cold sweat. He wriggled uncomfortably between the sheets, shivering despite the warmth surrounding him. He was filled with anxiety and anger, bits and pieces of his dream slowly filtering back into his consciousness and causing him to feel almost sick.

He supposed there must be worse ways to lose one's job.

Giving a weary groan, he closed his eyes and gingerly rolled over onto his side, ignoring his stomach's rebellious protests despite the waves of nausea rolling through his gut as flashbacks from his dream continued to haunt him. Reaching forward with his right arm, a small frown puckered his lips as he found nothing but empty sheets where there should have been a warm, pliant, comforting body.

His eyes slowly cracked open again, a grumpy mumble leaving his lips when his bladder began protesting, too, telling him that it would very much like to be emptied before he tried to go back to sleep, thank you very much.

A confused frown wrinkled his brow as his disorientated gaze met an empty bed next to him. Rolling over again and patting around for the light switch he knew was there next to the headboard, he let out an annoyed huff when he couldn't find it. What the hell was going on? Was he still dreaming?

Finally deciding to just sod it all and get up and go to the loo, he reluctantly sat up and stuck his legs over the side of the bed, slowly rising and heading in the direction of the bathroom. His eyes, still grainy and full of sleepers, were struggling to decipher his surroundings, the extreme darkness of the room and the leftover disorientation from his dream working together to muddle his mind.