Without You

22. I'll Be Okay

A/N - Here you go, yet another update! I've had a tiny bit of writer's block with this story recently, but I think I'm back on track again....Thank you for all of your amazing comments on the previous chapter - they mean the world to me! 💗 Hope this update isn't too bad and you enjoy it! -H. x

"Well?" Linda jumped slightly as the warm, husky voice sounded right behind her, hot breath ghosting over her ear. "Anything yet?"

"I'm pretty sure you've been watching my mobile like a hawk!" she giggled, peering back at a sheepish-faced Ant McPartlin. "I think you know the answer to that already!"

Ant's ears turned red and he shrugged his shoulders. "It's just been five minutes, that's a long time."

"You've gotta remember he must be super busy," Linda soothed, "And he might not have his phone on him. What time is it over there anyway? I can never remember if we're ahead of them or if they're ahead of us!"

"Nah, you don't know Dec," Ant replied, "He's always got his phone on him, even when he's not meant to! He must've seen it by now....And, erm, they're behind us 5 hours, I think....So it's, like, 3:21pm?" A moment passed, then Ant broke the silence again, "Ugh, come on, Declan! Why's he not answering?!"

Linda sighed and rolled her eyes at her impatient companion. "Patience really isn't your strong suit, is it, eh?" she teased lightly, earning a sullen pout from Ant, whose fingers were drumming out a busy pattern on his desk.

In a way, she couldn't quite believe she'd let herself get pushed into this. Mark would kill her if he knew. But those big, sad puppy eyes were so hard to say no to. She just wasn't able to do it. And anyway, she was off-duty now, surely they couldn't complain too much? She would typically spend an hour or so with Ant every evening these days, just hanging out and talking. Ant trusted her now, she'd gotten in his good books last Sunday, and he was far more willing to open up to her than to anyone else at the facility. And these weren't therapy sessions so much as just friendly chats – each telling the other about their life, sharing stories and helping to fill the loneliness of their individual existence with the warmth of friendship.

Tonight, when Linda had stepped into Ant's room, she'd immediately sensed something was wrong. Ant was unusually anxious and jumpy, his eyes holding a worried, haunted look to them that put her nerves on edge. He'd been doing better lately – ever since his chat with Dec on Sunday, he'd been working doubly hard at getting well, and even though he still had his bad moments, his determination to kick his demons once and for all was stronger than ever before. The general consensus among the team at this point in time was that, if he continued progressing at this rate, he could definitely be discharged as an outpatient by the end of the month.

So when she'd found him in that overwrought state this evening, she'd immediately become concerned that he was suffering a setback of some kind. He had yet to stop thanking her for recording his and Dec's conversation – he was using it as a motivational tool and an encouragement to keep fighting when things got tough. Linda had, however, sworn him to secrecy over the recording's mere existence, knowing she could get in serious trouble if anyone else found out. But she had no regrets over having sneakily recorded the friends' chat or having given a copy of it to Ant. It had had exactly the effect she'd hoped for on Ant, and at the end of the day, all that mattered to her was her patients' happiness and success at conquering their mental health or addiction problems.

But now here she was, breaking the rules again. What was that man doing to her?! He'd been very taciturn at first, just constantly fidgeting and tugging at the sleeves of his jumper, unable to keep still. Eventually, she'd gotten out of him that he had a feeling something was wrong, and it was apparently driving him mad. When she pressed him further, asking what he thought was wrong, he'd eventually admitted that it was something to do with Dec, he just didn't know what. He said he'd been thinking about him a lot today – even more than usual – and that as the day went on, he'd become more and more anxious about his friend, working himself up into the rather panicky state she'd found him in.