Without You

40. What Happened to Us?

A/N - How on earth is this Chapter 40 already?! Yikes! Thank you all so much for your continued support, it really means the world. The story's not getting any easier to write, but hopefully I'm managing to do it justice. Enjoy! 🙈 -H. x

The room was closing in on him, the air was being squeezed out of his lungs, he couldn't breathe. He seemed to be in a darkened tunnel now, the air pressure growing by the second. There was a loud rushing sound, like he was underwater. That was it, he was underwater now, he must be. And he couldn't swim, he couldn't even tread water. He was drowning, slowly suffocating as the murky water filled his lungs and dragged him down, down to the bottom. Perhaps he'd finally find peace.

What was that? Had someone just shouted his name? Nah, that couldn't possibly be true. Who would want to save him? And why? The rushing sound became all-encompassing now as he took in the last few gasps of a dying man, filling his lungs with ever more water. It hurt to try to breathe now, he wanted to stop breathing, for the exploding pain in his chest to end. He didn't even know why he was still fighting. There was no point. One last desperate gasp. And then all became black.

~~~

"Thanks, Anne," Ant smiled, giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "I really appreciate this, ya know."

Anne-Marie Corbett smiled back, turning to grab her coat and purse off the side table. "Any time, Ant, you know I'm always happy to help. When's everyone else arriving? Do you know how long the session will be?"

Ant shrugged, looking a bit nervous suddenly. "Erm, Linda should be arriving any minute now, she wanted to talk to me before Dec gets here. And Dec's meant to get here about 1 o'clock, but you know how he is with time keeping..." Ant gave Anne a rueful smirk, rolling his eyes dramatically. She giggled, her eyes lighting up as Ant grinned back.

"Well, you never know, he might surprise you and be right on time for once," she grinned, "There's a first time for everything!"

Giving him a sly wink, Anne-Marie slid on her coat, slinging her purse over her shoulder and grabbing her bag. "Well, I'll be off then. Don't want to crash the party or anything! I'll be back later to take you home, okay? Just text me." Sensing his anxiety level rising, she enveloped him in another soft hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Good luck!"

And with that, she was out the door, leaving Ant alone with his thoughts. He wasn't quite sure why he was feeling so stressed about this joint counselling session. Maybe because it felt a bit like a make or break situation. Yes, they'd spent a couple of hours together just a week ago, but their parting had been incredibly awkward. Dec had acted really strange when Ant had told him to keep in touch...And that had made Ant feel like things between them maybe weren't as solid as he'd thought....Which had led to him thinking that maybe Dec didn't want him around anymore. So he'd not made any attempt to check up on Dec, despite worrying nonstop. He figured if anything major happened, he'd hear soon enough from Ali, anyway...

Overall, last Thursday's meeting hadn't gone that badly, all things considered. But Ant knew there was a lot going on that he wasn't aware of yet. Dec could be very complex beneath the surface – to be fair, they both could be – and he hated hurting people. Now Dec had a very short fuse, that was true, but if he felt guilty about something he was feeling inside, he would do his absolute best to hide it for as long as possible....Which often resulted in a massive explosion of temper – or tears – when it all just boiled over and he couldn't keep it in any longer.