Without You

29. He Needs All of Us

A/N - I hope you all enjoyed the extra update last week, and if you've not seen it yet, make sure you catch up on that one first! Here's the next chapter....I hope everyone's still enjoying this story and finding it interesting. If you're getting bored and want me to stop, please do let me know - I realize the pace is quite draggy! 😬🤐 Hopefully this isn't complete rubbish! -H. x

Dec's heart was in his throat. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his raging emotions. Then he let his eyes wander around the room, taking in the sea of expectant faces and desperately missing the one face he wanted to see more than any other. Actually, that face wouldn't be in the crowd, its owner would be stood right next to him. But instead, here he was, standing all alone.

"Erm...Thank you all for coming," he began, having to pause to let out another harsh cough to try to clear his throat of its heavy coating of mucus. "Thank you so much for all your hard work this series, w-," his voice cracked painfully, "...we appreciate it so much. You're an incredible team, and we couldn't do it without you. A special thanks to our fantastic writers, who always make us look good, to our production team, who bring all of our ideas to life, our amazing researchers, and of course all the camera, lighting, and props crew who work their socks off. Each and every one of you plays an integral part in making this show a success, so thank you. It's been an incredible series, but...erm..." His voice faltered as he suddenly lost his composure, swallowing hard not only due to the painful rawness of his throat, but also because of the sudden lump that had grown there.

"Erm, sorry," he choked out, bashfully wiping at his eyes as they grew moist. "I know, erm, I know it's been a bit of a rough ride these past few weeks. Thank you for sticking with us when things got tough...Things happened that we, er, we could never have predicted. Your loyalty is very much appreciated. Erm..." Dec's breath hitched and his hand flew to his chest as a sharp twinge made itself known in the immediate area of his heart. "Look, I know a lot of you have strong opinions about what's happened, and you're entitled to them...But...I just wanted to talk to you for a minute, if you'll just hear me out, please?"

Murmurs filled the room for a few seconds as Dec paused, steeling himself. "Erm...You've prob'ly figured out by now that I'm standing by Ant..." A few disapproving noises were heard before the room grew silent again, waiting in tense anticipation of what their boss might be about to say. "I want you to know that, just 'cause I'm standing by him, it doesn't mean I agree with what he did. It's indefensible. He's...he's c-closer than family to me, but that doesn't mean he gets a free pass for doing sommat like that."

Dec sucked in a sharp breath, feeling his emotions surging to the fore like unstoppable floodwaters, overwhelming him in his terribly fragile state. He pushed on anyway, knowing that if he stopped now, he'd lose the momentum he needed to get this out in the open. "What I want yous to know is that the man you've been working with most of this series wasn't the real Ant McPartlin. He's not been here for a long time...'Cause you know what? The Ant I know would never've done sommat like that...And, erm, those of you who've been working with us for years know this already...But I want you to know right now, Ant is not deserving of the hate he's getting...."

A tear fell from Dec's eye onto his cheek, glistening in the bright neon lighting of the bar. "A-Ant," his voice broke as he spoke his best mate's name, "Ant has been by my side for 29 years, I know him better than he knows himself. He's been through living hell these past couple years, but he's kept it hidden. Have any of yous ever heard him complaining about being in pain or owt?" His gaze swept around the room, feeling satisfied when a sea of shaking heads and a chorus of "No's" filled the air. "Well, he was in bloody awful pain every single bloody day. It'd be enough to drive anybody mad – I know I could never cope like that day in and day out. An' I'm not sayin' that's an excuse for d-drink driving. Nowt is. But you've gotta understand that Ant's lost himself these past few years. He's been pushed beyond what anyone should have to suffer. Yet he's never complained, he's never blamed anyone...."