Without You

36. How Many Times?

A/N - Well, here we go...! I've got one final left on Monday, and then I'm going to see if I can start updating a bit more frequently again. No promises, but I'll try my best! I sincerely hope this doesn't disappoint. Please let me know what you think in the comments, if you're so inclined. Thank you, as ever, for reading and sticking with this story! -H. x

"And the tears come streaming down your face,

When you lose something you can't replace,

When you love someone, but it goes to waste,

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,

And ignite your bones,

And I will try to fix you,

And high up above or down below,

When you're too in love to let it go,

But if you never try, you'll never know,

Just what you're worth,

...

Tears stream down your face,

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes,

...

Lights will guide you home,

And ignite your bones,

And I will try to fix you."

Sniffles, followed by the loud blowing of a nose, sounded from the back of a black car. A knee nervously bounced up and down, hands fidgeted constantly, smoothing over the rough material of the man's dark jeans. The car came to a halt in front of a pretty brick home, pulling through the gated entrance and parking as close to the front door as possible to limit visibility from the road. 

On quaking legs, the man clambered out with a wave of thanks to the driver, unlocking the door and darting into the home, firmly shutting the door behind him. His restless feet carried him through the foyer and into the kitchen, making a beeline for the counter where the ingredients needed for a hot cuppa were laid out in readiness. A fond smile graced his features when he saw the note attached to a biscuit tin set out on the kitchen island. He owed her for this. 

Nervous butterflies flitted through his stomach, his heart was in his throat. He wasn't sure how he was going to get through this waiting...Setting the full kettle on the stove burner but not switching it on quite yet, he leaned back against the counter, letting out a long, shaky breath. This was torture.

~~~

"Say something, I'm giving up on you,

I'll be the one if you want me to,
Anywhere I would've followed you,
Say something, I'm giving up on you,

And I... am feeling so small,
It was over my head,
I know nothing at all,
And I... will stumble and fall,
I'm still learning to love,
Just starting to crawl,

Say something, I'm giving up on you,
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you,
Anywhere I would've followed you,
Say something, I'm giving up on you,

And I... will swallow my pride,
You're the one that I love,
And I'm saying goodbye..."

A throat cleared, eyes darting to the rear view mirror for a brief moment before flicking away again. "We're here."

The vehicle was idling, parked up in front of a modest, but very pretty, brick home. There were no other cars in the drive. All the curtains were drawn. Save one, which pulled back slightly to reveal an anxious face peering out. The driver noticed the movement in the window, and raised a friendly hand in greeting. The figure in the window waved back but then gestured towards the van, clearly questioning where its passenger was. The driver merely shrugged, and the man's face fell. He mouthed, "Should I come out?" to which the driver immediately shook his head vigorously, his eyes darting once again to the rearview mirror. The driver mouthed back, "Give him a minute," and the man in the window nodded sadly, letting the curtain fall back into place.