Without You

70. You Won't

A/N - Hey, everyone! Yes, I'm still around. Apologies for another far too long wait for an update! The massive project I was working on finally launched on Saturday, and I am ever so slightly (as in, *completely*) burnt out, so decided to try to unwind by writing a bit. Turns out I wrote enough to post an update! Yay!

Thank you all for your comments and votes on the previous chapter - it always makes my day! I'm not entirely sure how or why, but this story has rocketed past 25k reads and is now very nearly at 26k! Utter madness! Anywhooo (did you hear Dec there? I did 😂), thank you again for reading and sticking with this story, and hopefully see you sooner next time around! Stay safe wherever you are in the world! -H. x

"Penny for your thoughts."

Ant looked down. He didn't know if he should actually admit to this...Because what if it made him realize....He shook his head and shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "It's nowt, Declan."

A small growl sounded next to him and the next thing he knew, there was an iron grip on his arm. "What did I just say," Dec ground out through gritted teeth, putting himself under pressure to try to keep his voice quiet and even, "about talking to me when you're struggling?! Do you trust me so little, eh? Eh?!?"

Ant let out a heavy sigh and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "I trust you with me life, Declan. It's nowt to do with that."

"So prove it, then!"

Ant hesitated, the challenging tone in Dec's voice reminding him of a time many years ago when he'd been holding something back. Dec had stubbornly dragged it out of him then too. He was an unstoppable force when he got like this.

Downing the last of his tea, he placed the mug down on the end table with a heavy thud and leaned back against the couch, sighing again. He was so tired. The draw of sleep was strong. Maybe he could avoid the question if he fell asleep. Dec would never wake him, no matter how much of an ornery mood he was in - he understood how rare it was for Ant to get a good night's sleep.

He could feel Dec rolling his eyes exasperatedly at his avoidance tactics, yet kept his eyes closed. The tea had actually helped to relax him, despite his inner turmoil, so if he just concentrated on making his mind go blank....

He gasped, eyes flying open and breath catching in his chest at the sob wanting to burst out of him. Becoming aware of someone beside him, he turned, blinking, and found Dec staring at him worriedly. "Sorry," Ant choked out, relief flooding his entire being at the feeling of a familiar, warm touch on his arm, "Sorry, was I asleep?"

"Yeah," Dec murmured, "You okay?"

Ant simply shook his head.

"Bad dream?" Dec asked quietly, shuffling closer on the couch and resting a caring hand on Ant's knee.

Ant nodded.

"D'you wanna talk about it?"

He shrugged.

"You were saying me name, Ant."

Ant stiffened, turning towards Dec, who gave him a sad smile. "C'mon, Ant, just tell me about it," Dec pleaded, "Stop shutting me out, I'm sick of youse doing that."

"You gave up on me."

It was now Dec's turn to freeze, a pained expression spreading across his features as Ant's words sunk in.

"You s-said you hat-ed me. Said we were o-ver."

Nausea swept over Dec as his heart seemed to be wrenched straight out of his chest. "I said th-that...in your dream?" he whispered, voice barely audible.