Without You

28. He Felt Empty

A/N - Yay! I had time to do an extra update for once! Thank you for all your prayers and positive energy - still no answer, and I'm about at the end of my tether....The boys are the only bright spot right now. Thank you, as ever, for all the love on the previous chapter! Hope this one is okay! -H. x

Dec was in the little wardrobe trailer backstage, changing from his End of the Show Show outfit into a pair of shorts and a Takeaway t-shirt. He still had to make his way through the crowd so he could head back to the hotel before going to the wrap party later this evening. He was so, so tired, and felt rough as anything, but put on a – hopefully bright – smile as he stepped out of the trailer only to be immediately flanked on all sides by security and management as he made his way through the crowd. Cheers followed him as he jogged past scores of fans, handing out high fives as he went. Honestly, he was running on empty, and despite currently making his way towards his car at a fast trot, he felt dozy, so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Noting a couple paparazzi lurking in the crowd, Dec tried to make himself look a bit more alive, but he wasn't so sure it was working....

His head was throbbing, his throat was increasingly scratchy, and he just plain felt miserable. But more than anything, he just felt numb. He'd thought he'd feel relieved once the finale was over, but instead he just felt empty. Finally reaching the car, Dec slid in, slumping back in his seat as the security guard slammed the door shut behind him. A short 10 minute drive later, and Dec was trudging through the hotel lobby. He couldn't wait to get back to his room so he could finally take a look at the video he'd had Andy record for him. He was beyond excited to send it over to Ant, as he was sure the reaction would be tremendous. Ant wouldn't be expecting anything like that, it would be a total surprise. And it was late over in the UK, he realized that, so maybe Ant wouldn't even see it tonight, but he wanted to get it over to him anyway...

Letting out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, Dec stepped into his lonely hotel room, firmly shutting the door behind him. He was finally alone. He'd planned on taking a quick shower once he got here, but he was so exhausted he couldn't bring himself to follow through with that right at this moment. Flopping onto his bed with a sigh, Dec pulled out his phone and opened his video gallery. Smiling to himself gleefully as he watched the video back, Dec quickly cropped it down to what he wanted to send, and then typed out a little message to Linda. After a brief moment of hesitation, wondering whether he should risk waking her up – it was well after 9pm in the UK, after all – he hit send, and then settled back against the pillows, closing his eyes.

He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep despite being utterly exhausted. He was still too wound up from the show. So he just lay there, weary eyes tightly shut as he breathed in and out, trying in vain to let go of the pent-up stress of the past few weeks. But instead he was hit by wave after wave of loneliness. Ironically, he'd been craving peace and quiet all day long, and now he'd got it, he found himself wishing he had someone, anyone, to keep him company. With a frustrated sigh, he opened his eyes to squint at his phone's bright display. Nothing yet, but then again, it had only been about five minutes since he'd sent off his message.

Several more minutes of silence passed before his phone suddenly chimed, sending Dec into a tizzy as his eyes flew open and he hurriedly unlocked his phone. The bright spark of hope and excitement in his eyes died as quickly as it had come.

*Ant says thank you and sends his love, that was really lovely of you to do.*

That was it? Ant couldn't even be bothered to text him himself? Had he not watched the show, did he not care about him anymore? Had he done all of this for nothing? But no, that couldn't be true...Could it? Maybe Ant just had been so emotional he hadn't been able to text...??