Without You

7. He's Torn Up Inside

A/N - Thank you, as ever, for your continued support! There is still a whole lot more to be explored in this story, so hopefully you don't get bored of it any time soon! 😂 And seriously, just look at Dec's little face....💔😭

It had been a long, long meeting with ITV executives and production team members, and Dec was running on 3 hours of sleep. He'd already had three strong teas and one black coffee so far today in an attempt to remain alert and try to offer some useful contributions to the discussion. The meeting had been running for almost 5 hours already, and there was no end in sight. It seemed like his entire life had been consumed with endless meetings ever since Ant's arrest – he'd had at least two to attend pretty much every single day, and whilst he understood the importance of working out how to handle this mess, he was more than sick of discussing it. Five days ago, he had made the decision to carry on alone and complete the last two episodes of Takeaway. He'd gone to visit Ant afterwards, who'd been an absolute wreck after having been officially charged with drink driving earlier in the day. Ant had wished him nothing but the best with Takeaway before being whisked off to hospital to complete another stint in rehab. And now he wouldn't see Ant again for at least another 4 weeks. He was devastated.

"I totally agree, but I really think Dec's input on this is vital. Dec?"

Dec's head snapped up as he heard one of the senior ITV executives saying his name. He hated to admit it, but he'd zoned out of the conversation a few minutes ago, and he wasn't sure what he'd missed.

"Sorry, was miles away," he murmured bashfully, cheeks becoming tinged with a pale shade of pink as he met the other man's gaze.

The man gave him an understanding smile before outlining the current topic of discussion. "Saturday Knight Takeaway," he said matter of factly, adding when Dec looked confused, "The mini-series, not the show." When Dec still didn't respond, he continued, "Obviously, with the current situation, it's questionable whether we should air the rest of the series given Ant heavily features in the plot."

Oh. S***. He'd never even thought of that. There were still two episodes left to be aired.

"But they were filmed well before the incident...?" Dec let the question hang in the air. Surely it wasn't such a big deal to air them? Yes, it would be Ant on the telly, but at the end of the day it was just light-hearted messing about, really...And no vehicles were involved.

"Well, yes, but the public may not take well to seeing Ant on their screens right now. It could well result in some Ofcom complaints," the executive warned, eyes unwavering from their direct contact with Dec's.

"It's hardly gonna land us in hot water, though, is it!" Dec protested, "It's just 5 minutes of us acting – not exactly something Ofcom will find truly offensive..."

A producer piped up now, "Yeah, but remember the point is to still have some viewers left watching by the end of the show. It's gonna be a big enough challenge as it is without adding in the potential for losing viewers with a comedy sketch that could easily be scrapped."

Dec rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Actually, it's likely this week's show will have the best viewing figures of the entire run. All indications show there will be a lot of first time viewers tuning in this week," crowed another of the ITV bigwigs surrounding the table, sounding quite excited at the prospect of raking in more viewers than ever this series.

"Oh, thanks for that, just what I needed to hear!" Dec was already freaking out about having to perform solo for the first time in his career. He'd had a couple of solo acting gigs way back in the day, but that was different. This was a job he'd done with Ant by his side for 23 years, ever since they'd started out on Gimme 5 together all those years ago. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to present their show, the same one they'd brainstormed the idea for together and which had now run for 15 series, all by himself. Working with Ant was all he knew, he'd never wanted to work solo since he and Ant had found each other and taken on the world together. And Ant was like a security blanket in a way – if he got tongue-tied or stumbled over his words, Ant was always there by his side to grab onto and ground him with a gentle squeeze of Dec's wrist or a light-hearted joke at his expense. He was his rock. How on earth was he going to cope without him?