Without You

53. Sorry

A/N - Sorry for leaving you all hanging last time - I know you've been hoping and waiting for the boys to meet! Hopefully this meets expectations. 🤞 I've completed my degree program now, so fingers crossed I might be able to update more regularly/often now. Hope you're all well and staying safe. Thank you as always for taking the time to read, vote, and/or comment! ❤ -H. x

Dec drew in a long, shuddery breath. "I just...it felt like me missing part just slotted back into place. I felt sort of...whole...again. I thought maybe you'd felt it, too. Don't laugh, I know it's stupid."

Ant smiled lovingly. "I'm not gonna laugh, Deccy. But what missing part're you talkin' about?"

"You."

Dec blinked, shyly meeting Ant's gaze as he peered up at his taller friend through his short eyelashes.

"Me?" Ant repeated bemusedly, "How-, what?"

Seeming embarrassed now, Dec tried to pull out of Ant's grip on his shoulders, ducking his head and biting his salty lip. Ant was having none of it, though, and swept Dec up into another hug, squeezing him tight as means of reassurance.

Realizing Dec was still trembling in his arms, Ant pressed a quick kiss to the top of Dec's head before turning him around and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, his other hand resting lightly on Dec's right shoulder, thumb moving back and forth soothingly.

Guiding him out of the foyer and into the sitting room, he sat his emotional little friend down on the couch, patting him gently on the shoulder before jogging into the kitchen to retrieve their rapidly cooling lunch. Returning a few moments later laden with a couple of cans of Coke and two bags filled with cartons of Chinese takeaway, he settled himself down next to Dec.

"Now," he smiled fondly, giving Dec another reassuring side hug, "You're gonna tell me what's going on in that head of yours while we have our lunch, okay?"

Dec, however, seemed to have zoned out again, expression one of melancholic brokenness. Ant reached out and touched his arm lightly, grasping his wrist a bit more firmly when Dec still didn't respond. "Declan?? Declan!"

The sharp tone of his voice seemed to break through the haze, and Dec jolted, damp eyes seemingly swimming with relief at finding Ant sat next to him. "Sorry," he murmured, shifting a bit closer to Ant so that their shoulders were now brushing, "I'm not good at concentrating lately."

Ant let out a gentle chuckle. "Oh, aye? Ya should get yourself checked out for ADHD, son," he grinned, trying to raise a smile from his downhearted companion, "It might be catching!"

A small huff of laughter was all he got for his efforts, but it was better than nothing. The levity only lasted but a moment before Dec was gazing into his eyes earnestly. "So...You never felt like owt was missing these past couple o' months?" he asked haltingly, almost fearfully, wide, red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes boring into Ant's as he seemed to hold his breath.

"Nah," Ant answered with a single shake of his head, "I mean, nowt was normal these past few months, so it's hard to single out anything in partic'lar, if ya know what I mean."

"When I left...Ya know, the day you went into hospital," a veil of intense sadness and vulnerability passed over Dec's features, "You didn't feel owt strange? Like you...I don't know, like you...sort of...lost a piece of yourself?"