Without You

57. Always

A/N - Hi, guys! Apologies to everyone for the previous chapter's cliffhanger. I've been reliably informed that it was my most evil one ever, so sorry about that. 🙊😂 Thank you so much for all of your comments, and I'm sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter's almost 7k, though, so maybe that will make up for the wait. Oh, and I'd also like to say a big thank you to kashariak for her assistance (you'll understand when you get there, you 😉). ❤ I'm not sure I've done this justice compared to the scene I saw in my head, but hopefully it's passable. Enjoy! -H. x

Ant bustled about the kitchen, grabbing a packet of chocolate biscuits from the cupboard and filling the kettle with water. He was still very much unsettled by the events of earlier that afternoon. He was feeling incredibly guilty about the whole sorry mess, cursing himself for even having given the darkness an inroad to his psyche in the first place.

He'd known as soon as he'd contemplated going online that it was a bad idea, but once he'd gotten sucked into the black abyss, a morbid obsession with reading the vitriol directed at him grew and grew until it was basically impossible to tear himself away. Thank God for Anne-Marie.

The worst guilt in the world, though, was the knowledge that he'd physically hurt his best friend. Unintentionally, yes, but still it had happened. He'd never actually hurt Dec before, other than that one time he accidentally broke his nose playing footie...And that one time he'd punched him in the chest in a lift in Torremolinos all those years ago. 

He was ashamed. Deeply ashamed, in fact, and the guilt was cutting into him like a million sharp knives.

But once again, Dec had been amazing about everything. He'd achieved the seemingly impossible – quelling the darkness and rediscovering the light. They might be going through a rough patch right now, but Ant was beyond grateful to have Dec by his side. The voices of insecurity and self-hatred were still there, but he could fight them better now, knowing that what they were saying wasn't true. Or at least some of it wasn't.

Growing misty-eyed, Ant thanked his lucky stars that he'd been blessed with a best mate and business partner who was so very understanding, loyal, and, yes, loving. He could not be more lucky, and with each passing day, he realized more and more that he had to do something once all this was over to show Dec just how much he appreciated having him by his side.

And that's when a reverberating thud sounded through the house, sending shockwaves through the floorboards underneath his feet. His heart stilling in his chest, Ant dropped what he was doing and sprinted into the living room.

The sight he was met with made his blood run cold.

Dec was crumpled in a heap on the floor in front of the fireplace, limbs all askew and ashen white face standing out in stark contrast to the dark blue of the rug. Dropping to his knees next to his prone friend, Ant shook him gently, relieved to see his chest rising and falling steadily with even breaths.

Glancing around quickly to try to discover any possible cause for Dec's unexpected fainting spell, Ant froze when a shiny glint of metal caught his eye. An icy hand of panic gripped his heart. But then a weak groan met his ears, and Dec began to stir under his hand.

"Declan?" Ant quavered, on the verge of tears, panic making his heart race and hands shake, "You all right, son?"

Dec's eyes cracked open and he let out an unintelligible mumble, licking his lips before muttering, "Eurgh."