Without You

73. You Deserve the World

A/N - Only about three weeks since the last update! Things are definitely looking up! 😅 Thank you everyone for your amazing feedback on the last chapter! It means the world! ❤ Stay safe, and thank you again for reading! -H. x

⚠️ Trigger warning

Ali paused in the hallway, her bare feet stilling in their silent journey as she stared curiously into her bedroom, brows furrowing in confusion and concern. She stood there, just watching, for a couple of minutes at least, steaming mugs of hot cocoa completely forgotten in her grasp. The other occupant of the house – apart from Rocky, who was already impatiently curled up on his master's pillow, whining quietly at the lack of attention – was completely oblivious to her presence.

Finally padding softly into their shared bedroom after she couldn't take it any longer, Ali set the cups down on the dresser and moved across the room to stand behind her husband, who jerked guiltily upon seeing her reflection in the mirror in front of him.

"Declan, what are you doing, sweetheart?" Ali murmured quietly, one hand dropping absentmindedly to gently caress the soft skin at the nape of her husband's neck, finding taut muscle where there should have been pliant tissue underneath her fingers.

Dec's wide eyes turned to her, holding a fathomless pain, as their gazes met in the mirror. "Practicing smiling."

Ali's fingers halted in their gentle massage at that, dropping away from his neck and instead curling around his shoulder and turning him to face her properly. "Practicing...smiling??" she repeated, unsure if she'd misheard him or if that actually was what he'd said.

Dec nodded, eyes flickering up to catch hers for a split second before falling to the carpet underneath their feet, his tongue coming out and poking at the corners of his mouth anxiously as he bit his lip.

"Why?!" Ali questioned, gazing at him incredulously, "Why are you doing that?!"

Shrugging, Dec turned back to the mirror. "'Cause I can't do it anymore."

"What? Poppycock! Of course you can – you were smiling 15 minutes ago about Rocky trying to steal my hairbrush!"

"That's here, though," Dec returned diffidently, giving Ali a sidelong glance, "We were doing some screen checks today, and I just couldn't do it, Al. I couldn't even crack a proper smile! How the hell am I gonna do a week of live shows if I can't even bloody smile?!"

His voice had risen with every word, reaching an almost shrill pitch by the end that spoke of inner hysteria and barely veiled panic. But then he swallowed hard and his eyes fell shut for a moment...When he opened them again, the prior agitation in his features disappeared immediately as a bright smile lifted his face.

There, before her, was a consummate professional – a brightly shining star of showbiz with a smile that could light up an entire theatre....Just so long as you didn't look too deeply into his eyes. Because his eyes told all.

Her own eyes filling with tears, Ali could only lean in and kiss him gently on the cheek, wrapping him in a warm hug and trying to take his anguish away, even though she knew she couldn't. "I'm so proud of you," she murmured in his ear, giving him one last squeeze before letting go, "Come on now, I've got your cocoa ready – get some rest, love."

Dec merely sighed, giving in without a fuss and allowing his wife to guide him over to the bed and push him down onto it, accepting the proffered cup of hot cocoa without a word. Moodily leaning back against the headboard with some pillows propped up behind him, while Rocky happily climbed up into his lap and curled up contentedly, Dec's gaze shifted to the ceiling as Ali got settled next to him.