Without You

27. Do It for Declan

A/N - Time for another update....Sadly, no extra time to update early this past week...And a bit selfish, I know, but can I just ask for everyone's positive energy for tomorrow - I'm expecting an answer for whether I can complete my radiology internship at a massive vet clinic, and if they say no, I'm going to have to drop the class and probably push my grad date back by 7 months. 😭🤞 Thank you as ever for your supportive comments and for reading this gargantuan story!! ❤❤

Dec threw his hand up in the air as they finished the conga routine. That was it. The end of the series. He'd done it. He'd actually done it. But it was all wrong. Just so, so wrong. He couldn't let himself shatter quite yet, though, he still had to end the show...As he thanked their multitudinous guests, and then everybody at home, before signing off, Dec's heart began beating so hard he thought it would burst right out of his chest. Then the credits were rolling, and he was being embraced by various people. But there was no elation on his part. He felt numb.

After a brief minute of mingling with the show's guests, Dec turned back to the audience. He felt sick with nerves. What he was about to do...he could get severely reprimanded for, and if the press got a hold of this....Well, it just didn't bear thinking about. But he had to do it. He had to at least try. It was only fair, after all...

Taking a deep breath, Dec began speaking into his mic, his hand shaking, thanking the audience for their support and wishing all of the Place on the Plane winners a great rest of their holiday. His heart in his throat, Dec began pacing back and forth on the stage, staring at the ground. 'Come on, Declan, just say it!' he growled internally, hating himself for being so weak.

"Erm, it's been, er...It's been a fun series, erm, as we get to it...a-at the end here...Erm, it's tinged with, erm...I don't know, erm..."

Dec felt like someone was strangling him, his mind was going dizzy and the tears were coming to his eyes faster than he could blink them away. He'd thought he could do this, he'd thought he was strong enough. He'd been wrong. Then a shout from the audience rang through the air, making his heart leap and fall at the very same instance:

"We miss Ant!"

And suddenly Dec found he could breathe again.

"Yeah, we do, we do, we do. It's tinged with a little bit of sadness, so, erm..."

This was it. 'Just say it, Declan!!!' he shouted at himself inside his mind. And so he did.

"...Would you just give one round of applause to Ant who's back home in the UK..."

Before he could even finish his request, the crowd erupted into thunderous cheers, drowning out his words. His eyes swimming with tears, Dec took in the applause for his best mate with a grateful heart. He couldn't care less anymore if he got in trouble with ITV for this – it had totally been worth it. This made him happier than any applause the audience had given for him throughout the show. This meant way, way more.

"Thank you so much, he'll appreciate that a great, great deal..."

He knew he sounded emotional, but he didn't care. He missed Ant more than words could ever say. It was good to know that other people missed him, too. Quickly moving on now, wanting nothing more than to just get off this stage, Dec thanked all of the guests once more before thanking Andy Collins. He owed that man a lot. And then he wrapped it up with a simple,

"But, eh, thank you for coming. Goodnight, God bless, safe home. Bye, everybody!"

And with that, he stepped down from the stage, only to be engulfed in a warm hug by Andy, who surreptitiously slipped something into his hand. "Thanks, mate," Dec said, heart bursting with emotion. He still had a bunch of commitments to fulfill before he could slink back to the wardrobe trailer to change – the first of which was to take a selfie with all of the celebrity guests – but at least the worst of it was over.