Without You

74. Times Change

⚠⚠Trigger warning

"I missed you," Dec moved in for a hug, wrapping his arms around his best friend and relaxing into the familiar warmth, scent, shape of his platonic soulmate...No one else could quite match Ant's hugs in terms of being like a fuzzy, comforting blanket being wrapped around you. Well, no one except his mam...and late dad.

Ant remained silent, letting out a small grunt at the impact of his smaller friend's body and loosely wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Dec tucked his head into the crook of Ant's neck, just savoring the embrace for a couple seconds longer before reluctantly pulling away. Although it didn't quite feel right somehow, that hug. Why?

"Everything okay?" Dec murmured, studying Ant's face as they pulled apart, "Why so quiet?"

Ant's piercing blue eyes turned to Dec, meeting his worried gaze. Sharing direct eye contact was something they did frequently, sometimes for extended periods of time. It was soothing, reassuring – they could almost always read each other's minds, know each other's thoughts, if they just locked eyes.

This time, though, it was deeply unsettling. For Dec, anyway. There was something he couldn't quite place, swimming in those stormy blue irises of Ant's. Something which, inexplicably, scared him. Ant never scared him. He might startle him on occasion, but that was always on purpose as a joke. This was different. Dec's stomach flipped nervously.

"Ant?" Dec lightly touched Ant's wrist, "What's going on?"

Rolling his eyes exasperatedly, Ant huffed. "Nothing, you little twerp. Stop fussin', will ya?"

Dec was now very confused. "You little twerp," was an affectionate phrase Ant used frequently when he was jokingly annoyed with Dec...But now there was a sharp undertone, an undercurrent of...anger? Hatred?! What on earth was it?!

The look in Ant's eyes warned him off prodding any further at the moment, though, so Dec dropped Ant's wrist with a final squeeze to let him know that he knew something was off and that he was there for him. He had to admit he was a bit hurt – well, more than a bit – at Ant's distant behavior. He couldn't help but wonder....

"Huh?"

Dec blinked up at Ant confusedly. "What?"

"You're mumbling, man! What'd you say?!" Ant repeated, arching an eyebrow and giving Dec a vexed look.

Horrified upon realizing he must have said out loud what went through his mind a few moments prior, Dec averted his gaze. "Oh, erm, it was nowt. How was your time away?"

"Great," Ant responded drily, "Gave me lots of time to think."

"Yeah?" Dec shifted from foot to foot, an odd feeling of panic sweeping over him. Everything about Ant was off right now.

"Aye," Ant replied, voice turning dark and gravelly, "Gave me lots o' time to think about me and you, about us."

Dec gulped, gaze flickering up to meet Ant's. "And?"

A deep, shaky sigh, and then Ant blinked and the aggrieved look in his eyes vanished, replaced with a troubled, but slightly more affectionate, gaze.

"Why'd you leave without saying goodbye?"

Dec held his breath, feeling nettles pricking him everywhere, yet at the same time relieved to have actually said it out loud.

"Why not?"

Dec spluttered at that unexpected response, "Wh-wha-? B-b-because-, because we-...we never do that!"

"Times change, sunshine," Ant remarked curtly, turning away and seeming to fuss with the black skull-and-crossbones jumper he was wearing.