Dick Grayson One-Shots { requests open }

jesus christ how many of these am i gonna make???

——  •  ꧁꧂  •  ——

𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗽 (𝗶𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝘆): all of them in one way or another lmao

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 937

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: refer to literally any of the three parts before this

𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: ^^

—— • ꧁꧂ • ——

"This is ridiculous, Todd," Damian sighed as Jason and Tim dragged him into the living room to watch more TikToks. "They aren't even amusing. Why do you force me to watch them?"

Jason grinned, "You know you like them, Demon. Don't worry, though. We won't tell anyone."

Damian crossed his arms and glared at the younger boy, "Just play it."

"Hey, Star," Beast Boy approached the green-eyed girl. "What's your favorite hobby?"

Starfire considered for a moment before a look of realization crossed her face. "Oh! I like the hanging out with friends!"

Beast Boy flipped the camera and wiped a faux tear, "So wholesome-" The camera cut out and when the picture reappeared, you could see Cyborg playing video games on the couch.

"Hey, Cy," BB started, "what's your favorite hobby?"

Cyborg didn't even look away from the TV, "Beating your green ass at every video game on the planet."

Beast Boy looked dead inside, "That wasn't very nice-"

The camera went black once again and when it quickly clicked back on, you could see Raven laying on her bed, Beast Boy visible in the body mirror across the room.

"Hey, Rae," BB grinned. "What's your favorite hobby?"

Raven glanced up, obviously annoyed, from her book, "Sending those who barge into my room without knocking straight into the depths of Hell."

Beast Boy quickly left the room.

"Oi, Rob!" BB called as he entered the training room to show Robin in the middle of a set of pull-ups. The leader jumped down from the bar he'd been exercising on and walked up to Beast Boy, breathing steady as could be. "What's your favorite hobby?" the changeling asked.

Robin flashed a grin into the camera, "Annoying my family." He wiggled his fingers at the camera, "I know you guys are watching and I just wanted to say... fuck you, Renegade. Fuck you, Red Robin. Fuck you, Hood. And, especially, fuck you, Batman. Agent A... you're okay. But- fuck the rest of you!"

The brother's exchanged a look.

"He's meaner than I remember," Jason muttered.

"At least he spared Pennyworth," Damian stated in his normal monotone voice.

...

"Hey, Star," Robin walked into the living room with a mischievous grin, "what do we do to toxic people in our lives?"

Starfire looked dead into the camera and said in the most innocent voice possible, "Cut those bitches the hell out, motherfucker."

"My God," Tim uttered. "Those kids have the worst language I've ever heard in my life."

"Yeah," Jason agreed. "It's fucking crazy, man."

Tim and Damian sighed, staring at each other like they were cameras from The Office.

...

"Hello, friends from the tik of tok," Starfire smiled, holding a comb and a box of blue hair dye in her hands. "Today I will be dying friend Robin's hair blue because he is the sad that he is the only member of our team with 'boring' hair."

The camera framed down to show Robin sitting in a chair, glancing up at Star nervously. "Are you sure you know what you're doing? Maybe Raven should do this instead."

"Nonsense!" Cyborg giggled from off camera. "Star's got this!"

'𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛' flashed across a black screen.

"Holy fuck, Star, what'd you do?!" Robin screamed, staring into the mirror in horror as Starfire admired her handiwork.

"She- she-" Beast Boy cackled, "she dyed your hair pink! Oh, my God!"

Robin growled and turned to the camera, "Citizens of Jump City better keep themselves out of trouble 'cause I'm not leaving this tower for the next six-to-eight weeks."

"I think he looks good in hot pink," Jason smirked.

"I think he and his friends are all idiots," Damian deadpanned.

...

"It's karaoke night, y'all!" Cyborg exclaimed. "You know what that means!"

The Teen Titans looked up from what they were doing and screamed into the camera, "Hamilton!"

Cyborg's face suddenly turned grave, "If you have a sensitivity to out of tune renditions of Satisfied and out of time renditions of Guns and Ships, I suggest you leave now."

"Too late!" Beast Boy cackled, jumping up onto the couch. "oOo, i dO, i dO, i dOoO. hEyY, oOo, i dO, i dO, i dO, i dOoOo. i hAvE nEveR bEeN tHe tYpe tO tRy aNd gRaB tHe sPoTliGhT-"

The camera cut out and when it came back on, Raven was floating above the ground, very deep within her rendition of Say No To This (singing all parts, of course).

"i dOnT kNoW aBouT aNy leTTeR!" an actual tear streamed down the sorceress' face as she dropped to her knees and pleaded with, essentially, herself.

She stood up and turned to face where she had previously been kneeling, "STOP CRYING GODDAMMIT, GET UP."

Once again, the camera went black and this time when the picture reappeared, Starfire was on Beast Boy's previous position on the couch, wailing the lyrics to Burn at the top of her lungs. The entire team were screaming along with her. They were obviously very into it.

"YOU FORFEIT ALL RIGHTS TO MY HEART! YOU FORFEIT THE PLACE IN OUR BED! YOU'LL SLEEP IN YOUR OFFICE INSTEAD! WITH ONLY THE MEMORIES OF WHEN YOU WERE MINEEE! I HOPE THAT YOU BURN!"

"Who hurt them?" Tim asked, him and his brothers staring wide-eyed at the screen.

"I don't know," Jason started. "But whoever it is... I pity them."

𝐚/𝐧: 𝐩𝐭 5 𝐟𝐭. 𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐳 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 :)