Dick Grayson One-Shots { requests open }

more group chat 👹‼️

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𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗽 (𝗶𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝘆): dick x rob patty

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: i'm ashamed to say but 1792 words of pure idiocy

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: honestly guys everytime i think i've peaked my comedy capabilities bAM another group chat chapter. i'm too good honestly someone better call lorne michaels and get that son of a bitch on wattpad to read my shit

dildograyson - dick
babsssss - barbara
buckethead - jason
timbone - tim
casscasscass - cassandra
stephbrown - steph
thebiologicalwayne - damian
brucewayne - bruce
alfredpennyworth - alfred

𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: suicide 😃👍🏻

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dildograyson: hey guys do you know who's hot

babsssss: wally??

dildograyson: well yes but i was actually thinking of robert pattinson

babsssss: fair

timbone: that feels oddly wrong to me but idk why

buckethead: cool

buckethead: anyway

buckethead: i'm gonna kill myself so goodbye family i won't miss you

timbone: are you actually going to kill yourself or did you just see a child in public again???

buckethead: yes

timbone: yes??

buckethead: yes

timbone: bruuuuce jason's doing the thing again

brucewayne: Jason, don't do the thing. And please don't kill yourself. We can't handle the press of another one of you dying. They'll probably stop letting me adopt kids if it keeps up.

buckethead: oh no whatever will you do without your fetishized blue eyed black haired teenage boys

babsssss: uh oh

timbone: you should've just killed yourself jason

timbone: that'd be a less painful death than what's coming now

buckethead: he's not answering

buckethead: why isn't he answering guys

buckethead: did i finally do it

buckethead: did i go too far???????

buckethead: ok it's not too late tim i can still kill myself and escape old man vengeance

buckethead: come help me

buckethead: i'll run the bath you get the toaster

timbone: what do i get out of it??

buckethead: you can get in with me

timbone: omg i'm flattered ok hang on i'm gonna go rob alfred's toaster stash

dildograyson: can anyone else hear bruce giggling in his room or is that just me??

alfredpennyworth: Yes, Master Bruce's favorite hobby is scaring his children into suicide. He's currently in therapy for it, young masters, so not to worry. It's something that will be quickly taken care of.