Epigraph and Quintessence (STATION Series #4)

Kabanata 35

Kabanata 35

Video

The heart-to-heart talk that I had with my father lifted a heavy feeling in my heart. I could slowly understand the feeling of having a light chest. Iyong walang binibitbit na sama ng loob kun'di pagmamahal at pag-aalaga lang sa sarili. Iyong walang kagustuhan na mapuri ng iba kun'di pahalagahan lang ang sarili.

All self-love and self-healing—that's what I've been aiming for. I'm happy that I'm accomplishing that.

"At kumusta naman ang ating pinsan na nasa America?" iyon ang bungad ni Therese nang mag-video call kami.

Therese is now working at a famous architectural firm. Nabanggit niya na may kaibigan daw siyang doon din magtatrabaho pero hindi na tumuloy dahil baka raw maya't maya siyang ayain mag-party ni Therese.

"Saan naman nagtatrabaho si Brella? She's your friend, right? Siya 'yung nabanggit mo dati."

Nangunot ang noo niya habang naglilinis ng kuko. Napatingin siya sa 'kin. "Hindi mo kilala si Brella?"

I squinted my eyes at her and shook my head. "Um, no... I'm just familiar with her name kasi binabanggit mo sa 'kin. Is she..."

She pouted. "Hindi ko alam if tamang term ba 'yung 'ex-girlfriend' ni Elgene e wala naman silang label noon. But yeah, ayon 'yung thought. Basta may something sila ni Elgene bago dumating 'yang mahaderang Quinley na 'yan..." Hindi na niya itinuloy at umirap na lang sa ere.

"Oh, so she's someone close with the band?"

She bobbed her head from left to right. "Hm... pwede na rin."

I nodded and reached for a glass of water. Umayos si Therese mula sa paglalagay ng nail polish sa kuko bago bumaling sa 'kin.

"Birthday ni Sebastian, ah. Pupunta ka, Sav?" Panic immediately washed upon her face. "I-I mean... are you really okay with 'Savannah'? Hanggang ngayon, nag-aalanganin pa rin akong banggitin 'yon kasi—"

"It's okay..." I nodded. "I have accepted it, Therese. Wala na sa 'kin 'yon."

"Pero—"

"It's okay, really..." I smiled at her. "But there's one thing..."

Inilapit niya ang mukha sa camera. "Ano 'yon?"

I fiddled with my hands when my heartbeat rose.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga, ang labi ay nanginginig dahil sa kaba.

"U-Um... to be honest, I want to use 'Carpe Diem' but I-I also want to only hear it coming from Seville's mouth..." Pakiramdam ko ay namumula ako kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Y-You get me? He makes my name sound special, but I don't know yet..."

Carpe Diem din naman ang tawag sa 'kin ni Daddy pero alam kong simbolo 'yon na hindi niya tanggap ang kung bagong pangalan na ibinigay sa 'kin ni Mommy. But when it comes to Seville, I don't know why he makes everything special.

"Haaay!" she expressed and leaned at her chair.

She placed her newly-manicured fingers on her chest. "Akala ko pa naman kung ano. Ayun naman pala!"

I shyly smiled at her and drank another glass of water.

Ang init ng paligid. Namumula pa rin yata ako.

"Pero pupunta ka, 'di ba? Magpapa-party si Sebastian, promise! Narinig ko 'yon kay Cloud. Hindi ko alam kung pinaririnig ba sa 'kin ni Cloud 'yon para banggitin ko sa 'yo o ano e. Alam mo naman 'yung pinsan natin na 'yon!"

I smiled when I heard the word 'pinsan'. After all these years, they still treat me as one. Hindi ko mapigilang matuwa dahil do'n.

"I don't think he'll be happy with my presence..."