I've got some great news for you all! First off, I ranked 5th place in my fencing tournament which I am super proud of! Second, you will not be getting 1 update, not 2 updates, but 4 fucking updates this weekend! 2 today and 2 tomorrow. Whoo! Best part is that they are all hilarious skits and vines that showed up in my recommended section (thank you Youtube gods!). This first one is called The Confession by TomSka, and I have watched it a concerning amount of times (don't judge me, it's really funny).
*Side note: This skit is not canon to this book (all the others will be) and is what would've happened if Mabel didn't already know that Wirt and Bipper were dating.
Enjoy!
Bipper: Ready for this.
Beast Wirt: Not really.
Bipper: It'll be fine. *kisses Wirt's cheek then walks up to Mabel* Mabel we have something to tell y-
Beast Wirt: *throws up* BLEGH! . . . I think that went well!
Bipper: You threw up then we both left.
Beast Wirt: Meh, it's all in the past.
Bipper: It was literally 30 seconds ago.
Beast Wirt: That's a matter of opinion.
Bipper: No it isn't, let's try again. *walks up to Mabel* Mabel we have something to tell you-
Beast Wirt: *Holds rag to his face and passes out* . . . I chloroformed myself, didn't I?
Bipper: Yeah you did.
Beast Wirt: Yeah. . . *tries to do it again*
Bipper: Don't do it again! Look, you take the lead this time.
Beast Wirt: *walks up to Mabel* haioejfioajbihoeafj! You see the thing is Bipper and I- I'll just kill her.
Bipper: Oh no!
Beast Wirt: Let me kill her. Let me shoot her in the face!
Bipper: NO NO NO NO!
Beast Wirt: Mum, Dad, I'm gay! (Wrong confession there, tree boi)
Bipper: Wrong! . . . Kind of.
Beast Wirt: If I shoot her, we can make out!
Bipper: NO, WIRT STOP!
Beast Wirt: But this could be so easy!
Bipper: NO! *takes gun away*
Beast Wirt: *talking to Mabel* (Bet you guys forgot she was there) When two people spend a lot of time together-
Bipper: WHERE ARE YOUR LEGS!?
Beast Wirt: J'ai des câlins consensuels avec ton frère.
Bipper: Non!
Beast Wirt: Mabel-
Future Beast Wirt: I'm from the future! Tell her she's ugly!
Beast Wirt (present): You're chubby!
Bipper: *facepalms* You can't even get that right!
Beast Wirt: *Just starts randomly pointing at Bipper till he is dragged into the other room* . . . I'm really bad at this, aren't I?
Bipper: Yeah, Mabel is never going to find out about us.
Beast Wirt: Oh so that's what we're doing! *Walks up to Mabel* Mabel, I know this is hard for you to hear, but I am dating your brother!
Birthday Mabel: Yeah, that's fin- *gets shot in the face*
Beast Wirt: Whoops!
Bipper: . . . I think that went well.
My fingers hurt but who gives a frickity frack patty whack! That was really fun! In the original video, the french bit was in german and it said "ich habe sex mit diener Schwester". If you translate it you'll know why I had to change it. Also, I somewhat speak French but have no knowledge of German. Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you very soon!
This is me 5 seconds in the future! I forgot to add the whole reason I did this. Bipper may be the chaotic insane one in the relationship, but Wirt still has his fair share of stupid moments. I wanted to show that so here it is! Okay now I'm really leaving but I will see you soon. Bye-bye bat fam!
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