Family Fun! (Bad End Friends)

Moving Out Part 1

"Mam, a-are you sure about this. They aren't exactly the type to go down without a fight." 

There was a dark chuckle and a man began gagging till he fell to the floor. "Jerry, what did I say about doubt and negativity?" The body didn't answer her, so she sighed and answered herself. "They have no place here. Only optimism and joy!"

There were footsteps and another man entered the room. He noted the body on the floor and gulped, putting on a wide and nervous smile. Only optimism and joy were allowed here, he reminded himself. "Mam, we have located the targets. And you're frappucino is here." "Ooo, yes! Nothing like a cup of roasted coffee to get me ready for the day!"

"As for the targets, prepare the hotel for our new 'guests'."

~~~

"Frisk, turn down that stupid shit!" Wirt yelled over the music. Frisk looked him dead in the eyes and turned the knob so that the music was even louder than before. Wirt growled, branches sprouting at his feet, and gave them one last warning. "Frisk, turn it down. NOW!" "Oh go kiss your boyfriend's nards, maybe he'll help you remove that stick up your ass!" 

Bipper spat out his coffee, his face going red, and turned to glare at Frisk, throwing the book in his hands at them. "Don't bring me into this, bitch!" "Can you all stop screaming, I'm trying to sleep," Finn asked while walking downstairs. He was greeted with a very loud and aggressive, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FINN!" 

Finn glared at his friends then decided that it wasn't worth it. He turned back to go upstairs when the left wall exploded, a wrecking ball coming through the house. "What the pot-smoking, fudge-fucking hell was that!" Mabel yelled, running out of her room to see the damage. Wirt face-palmed and yelled for Morty to get his ass down here. "What are you- woah, what happened here?" "I told you that we are not doing any fucking renovations!" Wirt shouted at the young inventor. Morty glared at Wirt and wildly gestured to the massive hole in the wall. "This wasn't me. . . I specifically requested a bulldozer to destroy Bipper's room, not a wrecking ball through the left wall." (now you idiots know how I feel when you break the 4th wall)

There was a knock on the door that drew the B.E.F's attention away from their wrecked wall. Bipper stood up and went to answer it. There at the door was a very cheerful young woman holding a clipboard in her hands. "Hi ther-" "Look, I'm a stop you right there. Whatever your selling, I don't want it. Now leave before you join the rest of those stupid door-to-door salse people in Hell." "Oh, I'm not a-" "Then no, we don't want to hear about your god. Sorry lady but our souls are beyond saving."

The woman's eye twitched a little but she took a deep breath and patted Bipper's head. "Your very adorable young man, but I'm going to have to speak to an adult." Before the demon could rip her apart and shove her limbs up where the sun don't shine, Wirt took over and dealt with this. . . annoyingly optimistic lady. 

"Look, whatever you're here for, we don't want it. As you can see, we're kind of busy." The woman blinked at him and smiled looking around past Wirt. "Sorry sweetie but I asked for an adult." The lantern bearer sighed and gestured to the idiot children who had gathered in the living room. "Look lady, this is basically an orphanage for murderous problem children. If you're looking for an adult, I'm your best bet."

The woman's smile dropped for a second but then quickly returned, even wider and more face-straining than before. "Well in that case, allow me to introduce myself. The name is Lilah Lawrence!" The problem children looked at each other and back to the intruder in confusion. "Y-you know, the famous architect and a beacon of hope for unhappy folks." Still nothing. "I-I was on the news with the mayor just yesterday." "Oooooh, you're the lady with that shitty clown makeup who was preaching about happiness and all that other bullshit," Mabel pointed out, finally recognizing the woman.