Abducted; Namjin

Chapter Fourty Eight

Kim Namjoon

The lingering scent of Jin on my skin has my senses on edge as I readjust my uniform for the third time and lightly knock on Hoseok's door. Why am I anxious? I feel...a strangeness in the air. Is it Hoseok? Or is it Jin? Hm.
    When I receive no reply, I knock again before pushing the door open and glancing inside. The room is empty.
    "Hoseok?"
    I walk inside and take in the room. It's pretty empty. Clean. Impersonal. The Hoseok I remember would never be able to stand staying in a room like this. He loved color and decoration and fully believed in personalizing everything.
     "You're here?"
    I spin on my heel to see him leaning against the door from the hall, staring at me in surprise. "I wanted to check up on you."
    A ghost of a smile graces his lips. "You mean Jin forced you to come check up on me? I don't need a babysitter, Joon."
     I scratch my neck, uncomfortable. Why can't I just move on from the past without images and memories hitting me hard every time I'm alone with him.
     Soul bond...it's really endless, isn't it?
     He shakes his head as if he can read my mind and strides past me, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He looks around the room like I had moments ago. "It's weird, isn't it?"
    "What is?" But I know.
    "It will take a long time to let things go. I'm okay with that. It really doesn't bother me to see you with Jin. I'm happy for you two."
    I try to place myself in his shoes. Imagining it were me who died in his place and coming back to him only to find he's moved on with my best friend from another life...
    It's a painful and daunting thought. It sends a wave of cold lonely pain throughout my chest. I don't like it. I don't like being the one to have made him feel this way.
     Carefully, I sit down beside him and stare at the floor. "I keep wondering what would have happened if I had waited. If I had not impatiently let myself fall in love with Jin. If I had just done my job as planned...or if I had found you that night on Earth instead." I sigh. "Then I feel guilty for imagining my life without him. It's...conflicting."
     He nods, taking it in. "I've also had those thoughts. If I had just gone home with Jin that night. I was supposed to but I wanted to stay out. If I had saw you..." He shakes his head. "I would have went with you."
     Without thinking, I reach out and grasp his hand. A spark flies up my arm and a pit grows in my stomach. "If I had seen you that night..."
     I look into his eyes as they tear up. Without realizing, I lean forward kiss the tears off his cheek. I can't stop myself. My body moves automatically seeing my soul bond in so much pain. I want to consume his tears and make them disappear.
     He places a hand on my chest, stopping me from moving forward. "Fate is cruel. It's painful."
     "You're hurting."
     "Someone has to."
    "And you've decided you will be the one to bear the pain? After all you've suffered?" I can't stop myself from reliving his death and the feelings of lost and abject loneliness at his leaving me behind.
     Cupping his face, I rest my forehead against his and just breathe in his familiar and comforting scent. He seems to be doing the same.
    I shouldn't have come here. This is...going to end badly. I know it with every fiber of my being and yet—
    I pull him in and taste his lips. It's inevitable. The pull between us. I can't deny it. Can't stop it. Neither can he. I know he can't deny me. My touch. He will give in to me. He was designed to. Mine.
    He gasps against my mouth as I slip my tongue inside and invade his mouth, forcing him to allow me in.
     He clings to me as I press him down and run my hands under his shirt, feeling his shivering flesh underneath my fingertips.
    Jin. Think only of Jin. Stop this. Leave right now—
    Hoseok locks his arms around my neck and kisses me harder. My mind empties as my body reacts instantly to his presence, his scent, his taste.
    It's too much.
    I reach between us to jerk down his loose pants and spread his legs. His gasping low moans reverberate in my ears as I shove my fingers in his mouth, wetting them.
    He chokes on them, wrapping his legs around my hips as I remove them only reach down and press them deep inside.
     His eyes widen and he moans in pain, body arching up between us. "Ah!"
    I kiss him more deeply, silencing his cries as my free hand rushes to unbuckle my pants.
    Inside. I need to be inside.
    I taste his salty tears on my tongue as I ready myself over him. I'm going to take him.
    No stopping this.
    He looks up at me, nails digging into my biceps. "J-Joon...we can't—"
     I force myself inside him as deep as possible making him cry out loudly. His ass clenches around me almost painfully and he bites down on his lip hard enough to bleed.
     I grasp his face and force his kiss, lapping at his lifeblood and moaning as I begin pounding into his body.
     "Namjoon!"
     I don't stop, can't stop. My body has been waiting for this since the moment I laid eyes on him. This was meant to happen.
    I suck on his tongue, invading and forcing my way into his body as many ways as possible.  Our panting breaths mingle as our hearts hammer and collide against one another in a rush of uncontrollable lust, need, and undeniable pleasure. I can feel the sparks igniting deep inside my body, repairing something inside my very soul.
      My soul mate.
     Hoseok sobs underneath me, both clinging and trying to push me away at the same time. Warring with himself the same as me.
    "I'm sorry." I grunt, hips thrusting fast and hard, slamming his body up the bed. My hands circle his hips and tighten bruisingly. My body remembers his as if it were yesterday. As if there has never been a difference of space and time between us.
     Sweat builds on my back and neck as his grip slips. Stinging scratches clawing at my overheated skin. His taste explodes on my tongue and I want more. My mind and body singleminded in its need.
     What else is there?
     He pleads in harsh panting whispers underneath me as I fuck him with brutal like focus. He's mine. His body belongs to me.
     "P-please...J-Joon...we c-can't...do t-this...." He sobs, breath shaking from my pounding thrusts deep into his body. "Get out of me! Please stop!"
     I silence him with a biting kiss, sucking his breath into my lungs, swallowing his saliva and basking in the joy of our bodies rejoining our souls. It's everything.
     There's a ringing in my ears and I feel dizzy. I can't focus, can't see much as black spots begin invading my line vision.
     What....
     With an almost war cry, I cum hard and force his body to accept every drop of semen. Tightening my grip on him so he can't move an inch. Trapped under me to accept my offering. His ass clenching and sucking all of it from my body like a starving dying man discovering fresh water and meal after so so long.
     As fast as it comes on, it all ends and I collapse on top of him. I breathe deeply and it takes several minutes to come to myself. When I open my eyes, all my senses return tenfold and the realization of what I just did hits me like a fucking battering ram.
    

     I'm still holding Hoseok down so hard my own fingers ache. He's sobbing so hard he can barely breathe under me and clenching around my cock as it's still buried deep inside him. It's painful. I release him and slowly roll away, gasping and clutching my chest.
      I don't look over as he shakily pulls his pants back up and pulls his knees to his chest, burying his face in his hands.
      What have I done?
      I've worked so hard to avoid this outcome and yet it so easily overpowered me. I've never in my life every hurt him. No matter how desperate I've wanted him. I was always patient and made sure he was willing.
      I just raped him.
      I did not listen to his pleas and begs. I silenced him with pain and violence and used our connection to overpower and force him into submission.
     What the hell is wrong with me!
     I never wanted this.
     I look over at him, ashamed. "I..."
     I don't know what to say. Nothing I say will ever make it better. Will change what just transpired.
     Bruises cover his wrists and arms and neck...when did I grab his neck? Kiss and bite marks litter his throat and what little of his chest I can see.
     "Fuck...Hoseok." I hate myself. Hate my very dirty soul.
     Jin. I betrayed him when he was just worried about his friend. I breathe deeply and realize Hoseok's scent is all over me. Replacing Jin's scent. The thought chokes me up. I don't like it.
     How could I do this? I had no chance to stop it. It completely overtook me and my firm control.
    I reach out and lightly touch his knee but he jerks away. He's scared of me now. Holy shit. He should never fear me. Especially him.
     Wiping his face, he looks at me with resolve. "Never speak of this. Don't tell Jin. I don't want him to hurt. Shower and go back to him. Don't come back here. I can't see you anymore. It h-hurts too much. I can't do it." His voice is monotonous. His eyes avoiding mine. He's pale and shaking.
     "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened to me. I...there's no excuse for what I just did to you." I'm ready to take full responsibility for my actions.
    He shakes his head slightly and looks towards the door. I follow his gaze and realize in shock the door was even left wide open the entire time I was assaulting him. "Forget about this. Please just leave. I—I want to be alone."
     I can't push, can't force him again. So I do as he asks and I leave. It's already done. There's nothing I can do to change it.
     One thing remains in my mind. How can I ever face Jin again like this? Just an hour or so ago we were together and making love and now...I've ruined everything.
     I don't think I can do as Hoseok asks and not tell Jin. I can't do that to him—to either of them. I'm not that kind of man.
     I'll do what I need and accept any and all fallout. I just hope Hoseok can forgive me and Jin won't leave me. He's pregnant.
     I stop in my tracks and realize with a start the familiar scent that filled my nose before losing control.
     Hoseok's scent. His...fertile scent.
     Shit. Is that why I lost it?
     What if he gets pregnant, too?