Abducted; Namjin

Chapter Sixty Eight

Kim Seokjin

I'm burning up. I feel like my body is on fire but I'm not sure if it's because of the scalding water cascading down over me or from the strong alien man kneeling at my feet, very clearly in awe of me. Me?
It's shaken me up. Im nothing special. This is normal for women, right? They constantly suffer normally giving birth and it isn't worshiped like this. It's honestly not very fair.
I'm not mad about it but it's strange to me. Not just because I'm a man as well but because it's not something I'm used to. I know they've told me over and over how important this is to their people but seeing it now—his tears, his reverence...it's really something.
Deep down I'm still angry about the past and I think I always will harbor serious issues with it but...perhaps everyone deserves a second chance. Namjoon isn't perfect. It doesn't make what happened right or okay in any way but he's trying to make up for it—I know that. I can see it.
He's still a little obsessively psycho about treating me right and giving me all the time for consent. I have to say despite everything I don't believe he's ever forced me to have sex. Yes, I realize I could seriously be more than developing Stockholm's syndrome.
He abducted me with the sole intention of forcing unknown drugs into my system to change my very existence to suit his planet's needs and wants and had every intention of forcing me to become a breeding sex slave for his entire planet—none of this is lost on me.
I very much haven't forgotten any of that. The thing about intentions are that most of the time the end can justify the means. Despite his intentions, it's his actions that have overcome whatever the start of this was.
He changed. It's obvious he loves me. He chose me over his past love—the one that meant everything to him. He sacrificed the only happiness he knew just to appease me and prove his loyalty and love to me.
Is it truly fair if I continue being the only one unable to change and adapt. This is a learning curve for everyone involved.
For my son—our son—I have to be brave and let go of my regrets because in the end I love him more than myself and I want to protect him. I know I can never protect him properly myself. I need Namjoon and so does our son. Korain doesn't deserve to have his parents hate one another.
I won't be that person.
That being said...I don't think I'm ready to have sex again right now. The thought terrifies me and not just because I recently gave birth. Honestly besides being a little sore, my body has recovered much faster than I could dream possible.
No, I'm terrified because I haven't let him touch me in so long. My body has changed, my mindset has changed. I can't stop myself from comparing it to Hosoek's.
Hoseok is the last person he slept with—no matter the circumstances I'm putting aside. His body is perfect, honestly. He's not pregnant. He's attractive and very well in shape. Slim and muscular and beautiful.
Then now there is me—Namjoon loves me, I don't doubt that—but I'm the completely opposite of Hoseok. The one he couldn't resist.
What does that really say? Is it fair? No. Does it stop me from feeling this way? Also no.
With hesitation, I reach for the hands sliding up my thighs and grip them tightly. I'm ashamed of what he's seeing right now. I can just imagine how bad I look from his angle.
Ugh, I shudder just thinking about it. I want to hide my body but I know he won't let me. He doesn't understand.
"C-can...I mean..." I stumble on my words.
He stares into my eyes for a long moment before standing up and freeing his hands, cupping my face within his palms. "You aren't ready for me to touch you yet? I'll wait. No matter how long it takes for you to allow me the privilege of indulging in my beautiful mate and showing my appreciation." He sounds strained but I know he means every word.
See? And this is what conflicts me. He's not a bad man. He has issues to work on but he's never pressured me since the start of our relationship.
I look away. "You might resent me and get tired of waiting." It slips out before I can shut up.
He grips my chin and forces me to look at him. "Seokjin." He places a soft kiss on my jaw. "You are worth waiting for. I will always wait for you. I want you to want to be with me. It's not okay if it's only me wanting you. I don't care how long it takes. You are my miracle. You are my love and the one that has bore my life force into this universe. I will never tire of earning your attentions."
Ugh, I hate this. Why can't he just be an asshole?!
"J-just...not tonight. My body is..."
He pulls me into a tight embrace. "I'll just wash you and put you in bed. You sleep. I'll watch Korain."
I blink back tears as he does exactly as he says. I notice his eyes even stray from staring at my body and I realize he's picked up my insecurities by not highlighting them. I can actually relax.
He helps me towel off and wraps a fluffy robe around me before leading me to the bedroom. Once I'm situated, he leaves me with plenty of drinks and snacks and leaves me alone to tend to Korain.
Maybe I'm the one awed now.

I don't really know what to do with myself being alone for the first time since I gave birth, so I call Jungkook to come and hang out with me.
I notice right away he seems a little anxious for some reason but he puts on a fake smile as he plops down on the bed. "How are you?"
"Let me ask you that?" Countering.
He pauses, surprised. "I'm...well."
Snorting, I pop a grape into my mouth. "And I'm a queen."
He frowns, tilting his head in confusion. "I did not read any royalty in your DNA..."
Snickering, I remember he doesn't understand my sarcasm. "It's a lie. I'm just saying you are lying as well. Clearly you aren't well. Please talk to me. I'm here to listen." He always does the same for me. He's my friend.
He sits back and ponders. "Ahh. It's nothing really..."
"You were forcibly taken and mated to a snake humanoid hybrid thing and made to carry his spawn. I do believe on earth this would be a huge cause for concern. Please share your thoughts."
He winces a bit when I say that but I'm not sure why.
Licking his lips, he nods. "It is frightening but I'm content with the reality. I've accepted things as they are going to be."
It's rather ominous and im not sure I like that. "What do you mean?"
Smiling a little, he shakes his head. "Being as I'm not human, I'm more adapt at accepting harsher realities than you humans. We take change much more rapidly."
Okay, fair enough. "You still seem upset. I'm your friend, right? Please speak your thoughts freely with me. I won't judge or share them."
He stares down at his clasped hands for a long time. Dropping them down on his stomach. "I suppose...like all mortals...I fear death." He finally says carefully.
I frown. "You think you'll die during labor?" I was too.
He hesitates. "There is a very high probability that, yes, I will."
"I'm sure Yoongi won't let that happen."
He smiles. It's a neutral smile. Like indulgent. "I do not think he would care either way."
"Well, he went through an awful lot of trouble to make you his queen and mate just to throw you aside. Doesn't he need you to take care of them?" I have no idea how reptilians work. Yoongi still scares the crap out of me so I avoid spending much of any time around him.
"Perhaps it is not up to him, regardless. The Fates will decide and I will accept the outcome."
I think of Korain and what I went through. "Jungkook, I don't think you should worry too much. You will make it. Those babies will love you as well." Trying to cheer him up.
He laughs. "And if they are like their father?"
I pause. "Well...I don't think it will be like that. He impregnated you when he was in humanoid form, yes? I think physically and biologically...they would have to be the same. Maybe if he were in his true form when the act happened...maybe...but then again—you are the medic." I shrug. I guess I could be wrong but it feels right to say this.
His expression does show a hint of relief. "I hope you are correct. It would ease my mind a lot."
"You can come to me anytime with your concerns. I will help you work through them."
"I will visit you quite often then." He smiles. "While I am here."
"When are you leaving?"
"Before I deliver. Yoongi surmises I have perhaps a week left so only a few days." He looks unhappy again.
"You'll come back right?"
"If I survive, I hope so. I like your company much more than Yoongi's."