Abducted; Namjin

Chapter Thirty Two

Kim Seokjin

Namjoon has been acting weird. It's obvious. Everyone can see the random change in him.
He's avoiding me.
Which is really fucked up. I should be the one avoiding him but I haven't been. What the fuck did I do to make him run from me? That's goddamn ironic!
I'm honestly pissed about it. How can he be like that with me then suddenly do such a one eighty and try to ghost me?
It's too stupid.
Growling under my breath, I get up from me seat in the kitchen and stalk towards the main captain's deck. He can avoid me forever! This ship is only so big.
I catch sight of him by the large window looking into the control room and push the door open—pausing, however, when I hear him arguing with Jooheon.
"Just turn the ship around. I know you have the means."
"You're being stupid. You can't run from your problems like this. What would taking him back and dumping him back to his home world even do now? His body wouldn't be able to handle it anymore without help. It's cruel and you know that as well as I do. If you really don't want him anymore then I will drop him where he was originally intended to go—Median."
My heart thumps painfully in my chest. Are they...are they talking about me? Namjoon wants to take me home? I mean...I know I want that but...how can he just leave me like that in my stupid condition that is his fault?!
I hold my breath, reigning in my anger and admitted hurt. What did I do?
Namjoon curses under his breath. "I don't want them to have him. I don't think he could mentally handle it."
"Earth would be no different for him now. It would be the opposite problem. You don't want him to be put through the lines or sexual deviants and pregnancies on your planet but at the same time Earth would be just as bad. His body and mind would be unable to cope without the proper stimulation and relief. You made his body ready to reproduce and he obviously can't have that on Earth. They aren't capable or advanced enough to understand or handle male pregnancies and birthings."
"I can't...do this."
Jooheon stares at him. "Hyung...is this about your dead mate?"
Namjoon and I both flinch at the heartless and bold comment. Damn. Cold.
"If it is? I couldn't even protect him...how can I even think of doing the same for Seokjin?"
"This is more a you problem, it seems. Seokjin will need your guidance and if you are no longer willing to take responsibility...you know what has to be done."
Namjoon's shoulders slump.
How the Hell did I become such a burden to him? He did this to me. Now he wants to fucking cop out like this? How pathetic. God, I'm so mad!
Fine. He doesn't want me anymore...it's good. I'm glad. I never wanted him to want me in the first place! I don't need him. I'll be fine. I can handle my body. I refuse to even utter his name. The jackass! Screw ever asking for his help, too!
Never! I'd rather die!
I release the door and stomp back towards the guest room I've shared with the dick and gather all my meager belongings. I'm not sleeping here with him anymore. He doesn't want to see me? Fine by me. I don't want to see him either.
I carelessly throw my shit in a bag and kick it in anger. Seething with rage.
Why am I so angry? So upset? Why is this getting to me so much. This should be a good thing, right? Why aren't I rejoicing?
I stop to take several deep breaths, humiliated to feel actual tears prickling my eyes. Why do I have to be like this? Why did he fuck with my body and mind only to play me like this and abandon me? Just...why...

"What are you doing?"
I glance up from fixing my new bed to see Jimin peaking around the door. His and Taehyung's room is right next door.
I smile tightly. "I needed a change of scenery."
He steps into the room hesitantly, smiling. "Ah? I understand. It's nice to see different things." He hops up on my bed and rolls around like a bit playful cat.
I stop fussing with the sheets and just let him be. Climbing over him, I lean against the headboard and he drops his head in my lap. I massage his head absentmindedly. We haven't spent much time together recently.
He purrs. "I think you need someone to talk to."
I sigh. A big loud angry sound. "You think?"
"Yes. I'm your friend. I'm here to listen." His big feline alien eyes gaze up at me warmly. I feel myself losing to him.
Reluctantly, I end up spilling everything to him. Namjoon's actions and changes towards me...my own inner conflicting feelings about it all.
I feel better when it's all out, though. I guess I really did need a friend. I really miss Hoseok.
Jimin purses his lips, thinking over my words. "I think...I think you really like him. He hurt your feelings, right?"
I stiffen. "I don't like him! I can't stand him! He's so mean..."
He tilts his head. "It's clear you like him. You might not like that or be comfortable but I think it's also kinda inevitable."
"Why do you think that?"
"Why are you so against him? Is it because he kidnapped you and forced medical procedures on you without your consent? Or how he keeps forcing you to do things you don't want?"
His words send a scowl to my face. Right. How could I ever consider liking a person like that! "Do you even hear yourself? Of course those are why!"
He nods solemnly. "So it's not because you are both male?"
I open my mouth to snap back but stop. What? "What?"
"You've said all this time you could never like another male but...you didn't even consider that prospect when naming reasons not to like him. I think you don't really care about that so much anymore, right?"
I sigh. "I don't know, Jimin. I guess I have bigger worries right now than gender."
"Isn't that how it should always be, though? Isn't gender such an insignificant thing in the scheme of things towards someone you like? I understand you are upset but I think you need to accept your inner truths then talk to him about how you really feel. You both can't avoid each other forever."
"I don't want...I don't want to." Stubbornly.
He rolls off me to sit up. Glancing over my body. "You can't run away this, Jin. I'm sure you can already feel the draw to him. Feel the building up inside..."
I narrow my eyes, refusing to admit anything. "Why do you say that?"
He shrugs. "Because I feel it and you were ahead of me in the process. It should be stronger and more intense for you, right?"
"How are you and Taehyung handling things?"
A sickly sweet smile graces his cute face. "He takes very good care of me and my body. He's kind and considerate to my needs and—"
I cover my ears in panic. "I'm not asking about details of your sex life!!"
He frowns. "Oh. Then what are you asking about?"
I chew on my bottom lip. "N-nothing. Just forget it."
"You know...I think you should just accept your fate. Namjoon as well. I think you two would be good together. He would treat you well."
I scoff. "How do you know?"
"Taehyung praises him a lot. He's a good man. He was good to his mate as well. If you became his mate..."
"I can't be his mate." I cut him off.
"Why not?"
"Neither of us want that. I think nothing good would come from accepting my fate—as you say. This has nothing to do dare, either. He stole me from my world and—"
"How do you know it wasn't fate? The chances of him find you—out of all the people of your planet...is rather rare, yes? Maybe there was a reason you two found each other."
I don't want to hear anymore. "Can we just...talk about something else, please?"
He pouts but nods nonetheless. "Okay. Guess what Taetae did for me this morning..."

After a couple hours of catching up and listening to his endless praises to his lover, Jimin heads back to his own room.
Me...I'm agitated and have a headache. I'm happy for Jimin, really—I am. I'm just...I wish I could be as nonchalant about this situation as he is. It's hard. So hard for me.
     My stomach churns and my legs are weak. Groaning, I realize I haven't eaten all day. Forcing myself up, I slowly walk down the corridor towards the kitchen but stop half way when a wave of pain so intense nearly brings me to my knees.
     I feel nauseous.
    I clutch the wall, sliding down to the floor as my body begins to get a burning sensation. My breaths come out in harsh pants and I feel...I feel...
     Oh god. Is this it? What Namjoon was talking about? My body is betraying me. I'm not ready. I'll never be ready for this. Oh god.
     Vaguely aware of my surroundings and the approaching footsteps, I crawl towards the first door I see and open it, falling face first inside.
     A utility closet. Nice.
    Holding back whimpers, I lock myself inside and pull my knees up to my chest. I'm scared.
     I wince as wetness seeps into my pants. Tears fill my eyes. I was wrong. I was wrong, I can't do this alone. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Who to go to.
     Someone...Namjoon...help me.
     Take responsibility....