Abducted; Namjin

Chapter Thirty Nine

Jimin

    "That's so awful...right? Did I use the right sentiment?" I ask hesitantly after listening to Jin pour out his heart to me about his situation with the captain and his friend. Humans certainly are complicated creatures.
      He sighs. "You did. It is really awful. I've honestly embraced the idea of being with a Namjoon but every time I imagine Hoseok's face I feel guilty and like a bad friend. He gave his blessing but it still feels wrong."
      I tilt my head, trying to comprehend. "Why should you feel guilty if both others parties are fine with it. It seems like none of this is your fault. You didn't ask for this anymore than me or that serpent did."
      He snorts at my choice name for Yoongi.
      I smile, pleased. "You should just let yourself be happy finally despite the situation like I have with Tae."
     Throwing himself back on my bed, he groans, rubbing his face. "It's different. How would you feel if suddenly Taehyung's long lost dead mate appeared out of nowhere!"
      I click my tongue. "He never had a mate. I'm the first." I say it proudly. And only.
      "Lucky you. All I think about is how he's eventually going to start comparing us. It sounded like their relationship was perfect. They were separated way too soon and in such a disgustingly vicious way. It's not fair."
      "Why are you more worried for them than for yourself? Do you think they are stressing about this situation as much as you?"
       "I don't know. I don't like feeling like the third wheel. You don't understand. It's like I broke the guy code."
      I wrinkle my nose. "Guy code. What is that?"
     He sits back up. "It's kind of like a code of honor among guy friends back on earth. You don't take your best friends girlfriend—or boyfriend, in this case. It's wrong."
     I think it over. "I think that's stupid."
     "What? Why?"
     "Well, think of it primally. Humans are animals in nature, too, right? Well, if two people are together but one side finds themselves instinctively closer to another then it would make more sense that evolution ally they aren't meant to be and they should go with their instincts. Humans ignore that too much for emotions which is much weaker in the grand scheme, Don't you think? The world would not end at a failed pairing, right?"
      He blinks at me, stunned. Or maybe annoyed. "Can you say the same if Tae decided he wanted someone else?"
      I don't like that thought at all but I hold my tongue. "If he truly wished for another than it just proves my point, correct? That we were wrong together all along. Nature will always prevail."
      Shaking his head, he sighs again much louder. "I wonder why I came to you to talk about this. You really can't understand..."
      "I understand perfectly. It's you who's making this harder and more complicated. They both agreed they will not get back together. The captain wants you and your friend agrees and approves. What's the problem? There isn't one besides your ridiculous emotions and sense of decency. Follow your animal instincts. You have them for a reason."
      "We can't all be like you, Jimin. You're so simple. So easy to please and live. I wish I could think like you."
      The door opens and Taehyung walks in, looking tired. I give Jin a hopeful look and he, thankfully, takes the hint. Wishing me a good night, he leaves us alone.
     Don't get me wrong, I love my friend but his human drama is bringing me down and Taehyung has been staying away from me longer and longer lately. It's upsetting. I want to know why.
     "You're back early." My voice soft yet excited. Happy. "I thought you said you would be gone all night."
     He drops down on the edge of the bed and rubs his face. His shoulders are tense. Lifting up on my knees, I grasp his shoulders and try to help work the tension.
     "You don't need to do that. I'm fine, Jiminie."
     I stop, awkwardly staring at him painfully, still perched on my knees. "Are you angry with me? D-did I do something to upset you?"
     His head whips around and his eyes widen. "What? No! You haven't done anything. Why would you think that?"
      "I can tell something is wrong. Why won't you speak to me? You're avoiding me? Have I not...not pleased you enough?"
     Groaning, he turns around and hugs me tight, his lips pressing tenderly against my forehead. "Don't think like that. You always please me."
      "Then what is the problem? Tell me."
     He hesitates and that only makes me more anxious. Have I done something wrong? After a long silence, he finally takes a deep breath. "It's me."
     "What do you mean?"
     His hand slides down my body to rest on my hip, slowly skimming over my stomach and slipping under my shirt. He presses his palm to my small flat belly.
      Disappointment shines in his eyes. "I failed to get your pregnant. I'm sorry. I failed us."
     My mouth drops open in surprise. That's what he's upset about? "It's still early—"
     He cuts me off, shaking his head. "You should have been pretty far along by now. We tried weeks ago. Our pregnancies go much faster, remember? I knew a week ago that it failed."
      "So you avoided me?"
      "I didn't set out to on purpose, love, it just ended up that way. I didn't want to burden you with my sadness."
     I place my hand over his. "We can try again." I frown as a thought comes to mind. My conversation with Jin now coming back to haunt me. "Or maybe it is my fault. Perhaps my body is not compatible for you."
      "Don't be ridiculous, Minie. You were made for me. I guess I'm too worried. We can try again next time, okay?" He gets up and begins removing his uniform. "Let's take a bath and go to bed, alright? I'm tired and want to sleep with you in my arms."
      Silently, I follow him and after a sweet comforting bath, we both curl into bed and he falls asleep almost instantly. Feeling unsettled, I shift into my beast form and watch him sleep.
     Perhaps being a shapeshifter is preventing my body from accepting such permanent changes. I can't see my body allowing me to change forms while carrying life that isn't equipped for it.
      Is it my fault? What if I can never provide him with a child. My purpose here will be useless.
     Jin's words haunt me. Taunting me.
     What if Taehyung decided he wanted someone else?
     I know how had he wants a baby. Will he leave me if I can't give that to him? His entire species is on the verge of extinction and need to reproduce. I can't imagine him choosing to remain by my side while his people die off.
      Suddenly, Jin's human concerns make more sense to me and I don't like it.
      I wasn't wrong, though. Nature always prevails. What's meant to be will be. And won't won't will not. If I cannot give him what he wants most...should I chose to leave of my own accord so he can find another more suitable pairing?
     The thought of that sends shooting pains through my chest, though. I don't like feeling human.