Abducted; Namjin

Chapter Fourty Two

Jooheon
 
    "W-where did you go? I've been waiting for an hour now. You told me to be here."
     My mind is forced away from Hoseok and the taste of his mouth, focusing on Hyungwon's upset expression. He slowly stands from his seat at my desk.
     Sighing, I click my tongue. "I was busy."
     "What is it you like about that human? You told me you didn't like humans." He frowns. "Isn't that why you didn't like me?"
     "Humanity is quite barbaric but it's not your humanity I dislike, Hyungwon."    
     He flinches. "Then why can't it be me?"
     Slowly, I approach him. Grasping his chin, I stare into his glittering eyes. "I dislike your obedience. I despise your need and clinginess. I'm disgusted by your blind loyalty. You bore me, Hyungwon." I make my words clear and precise.
     I watch, tightening my grip harder on him so he can't hide from me, his expression crumble and his heart shatter.     
    He attempts fruitlessly to free himself but I refuse to let him. Instead, I decide it's time to crush him completely, destroy any semblance of hope out of him for us.   
    I back him towards my desk, pushing him down onto it. Wrapping my hand around his throat, I bare my teeth while teasing his shirt open with my free hand. Sliding my fingers down his trembling chest, I find myself admiring his smooth pale skin.
     Not as pretty as Hoseok, however.
     I press my lips down on his as he chokes out a sobbing moan.   
    Not as sweet, either.  
    I don't want him.
    I look down at him coldly. "If I fuck you right here and now it's only because I'm getting use out of your body. I do not like you and will never feel anything but reproach for you. I will always use you for my wants but never expect anything more than that from me. Do you still want this?" I pause my hand on him.   
     His lips tremble as a tear slides down his cheek. "..."
     "Even if I'm imagining you as him? Will you still let me use you the way I want? Can you accept that?"
     Fire alights in his eye and faster than lightening—he slaps me. I wince as he shoves me away and holds his shirt together, sobbing. "F-fuck someone else! I'm not your toy, Jooheon!" He nearly collapses in his grief as he tries to catch his breath. "I...I really hate you right now. How can you do this to me? Y-you saved me...it's always been you for me..."
     I wipe the blood off my mouth and slowly stand properly. "I've always been this way to you, you've just never cared or ignored reality."  
     He stares at me like some alien creature, like a monster. "I've always cared and known what's real." He runs out of the room.
     Left alone, I walk around the room, pausing at the large window. Space rushes by at the speed of light around my large ship. The ship once belonging to my father. Modernized, of course.  
     Everything has been so easy for Namjoon. Why must my life be so difficult? Always on the other side.
    Always the bad guy.
    A role I've amicably accepted.
    Maybe I am the villain. Maybe I should always be on the back burner to my big brother.
    But is it fair for Hoseok to be also? Can't he have a chance to be the lead...by my side?
    For once...I do care about someone other than myself. Maybe the endgame I want isn't just for me selfishly.  
     I remember the Hoseok that was once Namjoon's. I was much younger than him at the time. He didn't even know I existed, never would have looked at me, but I knew him. I kept tabs on my older brother from my desolate home far away and he would always be there by his side.   
     So...cheerful and bright like the many suns I avoided in my life. He was a constant I would continuously find myself seeking out.  
     Just watching peacefully, curiously from the dark like a stalker. He was precious to Namjoon and I hated him. Hated him for making my brother happy.
     What is happiness? I never knew but wanted to. Never experienced it. I desperately craved to know what made those expressions on their faces. I truly wanted—no, needed—to experience it.
     Hoseok. He was happiness. What else could it be?    
    If he were mine...could he give me that same expression? Make me feel those same emotions I so envied watching Namjoon make? 
     I want to know.
     I will know. 
    My real reason of bringing Hoseok back here. For him to see what his beloved soulmate had become.
     Namjoon threw away such happiness and for what? A simple human that wanted nothing to do with him?
     I will make Hoseok want me. I will make him show that happiness again. To me only. Namjoon didn't deserve him or cherish him as he promised.
    I may not be a good guy but am I truly a villain? I've never claimed to be something I'm not. 
     What is truly considered bad or good anyway when everything can be construed in shades of gray. Not everything is black and white. Not in any world. Not in ours.  
     Namjoon took so much light from such an innocently happy person and made him sad. Made him feel inadequate.  
      Who's the real villain?
     I do indeed have a goal and an endgame.