(39)Black Widow's Demise

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The house was marinating in silence

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The house was marinating in silence.

A deep, unbreakable silence.

The television was turned off, the windows were closed and the door to my flat was locked.

I had locked myself in my apartment and wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

Conrad had called when I didn't show up to class the previous day. Samaria had phoned too. Then Alexus. I'd lied and told them that I had a fever and that I'd be back later the same week, but that was lie too.

I'd booked a ticket home- to Caneyville.

The flight left in a few hours and I was planning on running away from my problem. Something I never did.

For once in my life, I was going to grant myself some leave. I wasn't going to come back. I was gathering all of my personal belongings and perhaps later, in a month's time, I'd be back for the rest.

I was done.

Done with this world. Done with all of them. Done with this pain.

I loved him so much that it hurt knowing that I'd only ever see him one more time- when he finally did come for me.

But I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this anymore. He was the Emperor- I was a mortal. He was engaged- I was nothing to his family and never would be anything more than... this. I was naïve to think he was a knight, but I was also fooling myself to think that I didn't know that.

I knew.

I knew that I had fallen for someone I should never have gotten close to in the first place.

But I did. And I fell so head-over-heels in love with him that it was absurd. He was my soulmate. I don't think that I'd ever believed in that nonsense before, but now I'd experienced it and this was obviously what feeling complete felt like.

It was too bad that I'd ruined it.

The night of the festival, I'd landed in my lounge area and had cried myself to sleep. It was a restless sleep. The next day all the phone calls came in, wondering where I was. I declined them at first, but then knew I had to tell someone where I was before they barged in here. Then they'd see what I looked like. How broken I was inside.

I didn't need that too.

So I lied and spent my day doing nothing. Laying bed, watching mindless garbage to pass the time and finally, I booked a ticket out of here. Home. Where things still sort of made some kind of sense.

A place where I could heal in peace. Perhaps patch some pieces back, just until I learned how to deal with being one half again.

There was no word from him- no letter, no gift, no appearance. Nothing.

He was done.

It hurt like hell. That was all I could think. Too delve too deeply, was too painful.

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