If It Is You (Y.Jw) [Sequel]

The Evil Spiral

To quickly clarify this is how Jiyeon's anxiety was (only a few scenarios) when it was really bad before their debut.

November 2020

1#

Jiyeon tapped her fingers unconsiously on the kitchen counter as she tried to do her homework. The boys were either at the company or at school, depending on whether or not they were going to school at the moment of not. Meanwhile Jiyeon sat at home trying to make her homework.

She just couldn't put her mind to it, it just kept wandering off. What if she actually wasn't home alone? What if someone else was there, a stranger? What if the driver wouldn't come and pick her up for practice? What if the boys never made it home? 

Feeling herself get more and more restless with time Jiyeon finally picked up her phone and dialed the latest number. Already by the first ring she felt the guilt hit her and mentally scolded herself as she picked at her lips.

"Everything alright?" Heeseung immediately questioned as he answered the call.

"Can you come home?" Jiyeon nearly whispered down the phone.

"Now?" Heeseung questioned making Jiyeon close her eyes tightly and drop her head into her hands.

"No, sorry. I know I'm bothering you," Jiyeon sighed and rubbed her eyes, "sorry, just go back to whatever."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Heeseung immediately replied before ending the call.

Jiyeon sighed as she placed her phone back down on the table again, beginning to aggresively tap her fingers on the kitchen counter until she heard the front door open and she immediately tensed up.

"Jiyeon-ie?" Heeseung carefully called out.

Jiyeon immediately rushed up and walked out to the front hall as fast as she could. She didn't even make eye contact with Heeseung before just walking over and latching herself onto him in a hug.

"From now on you're coming with us to the company when you aren't at school," Heeseung stated and Jiyeon just nodded at him.

2#

As the group of eight were walking down the hallways towards their practice room, Jiyeon continued to glance over her shoulder until their manager stepped out on the hallway a bit behind them.

Jiyeon immediately picked up her pace and tried to get in front of some of the boys, that clearly didn't realize how eager she suddenly had gotten to get up in front, constantly leaving her to walk in the back beside Sunoo.

"Sunny, what are you doing?" Sunoo softly spoke and grabbed onto Jiyeon's wrist to keep her by his side. Jiyeon didn't even answer she just looked over her shoulder, at their manager.

"I need to walk in front," Jiyeon muttered making Sunoo frown at her as she just continued to look over her shoulder.

"Are you feeling anxious?" Sunoo carefully spoke and Jiyeon immediately nodded at him, "it's just our manager walking behind us."

"I need to go in front," Jiyeon repeated once more.

Sunoo let out a small huff as he looked over his shoulder and then back at Jiyeon before stopping in his tracks, making Jiyeon abruptly stop with him, as he still kept a grip on her wrist.

"Lets greet manager-nim," Sunoo smiled down at Jiyeon who immediately widened her eyes at him and shook her head, "come on... he's not going to hurt you."

Jiyeon watched as the manager neared them and slowly moved more and more behind Sunoo as her breathing picked up. It was not that she was scared of their manager, actually they had always hit it off with one another. It was just the fact that someone had walked behind her that made her completely lose it.

"Hello manager-nim~" Sunoo happily cooed as their manager reached them, making Jiyeon just carefully bow her head at their manager who just smiled at them as he walked past them, "see? He's not that bad."

"I want to go home," Jiyeon whispered making Sunoo just frown down at her.

3#

Carefully crawling down from her bunk Jiyeon hurriedly walked over to Jungwon's bunk, sitting down on the edge and stared at him as he slept. She couldn't decide wether or not she should wake him. She did feel bad for even just having the thought of robbing him of his precious sleep started a guilty feeling in her.

"Just lay down already," Jungwon muttered, not even opening his eyes.

"Sorry," Jiyeon immediately scrambled to crawl up to her own bunk before Jungwon had grabbed onto her hand and pulled her down into his bunk, already throwing his duvet over her before she could even react.

"We've talked about this, just come when you can't sleep," Jungwon muttered making Jiyeon just nod as he tugged the duvet around her before pulling her in close by one arm, "do you want to sleep against the wall?"

"No," Jiyeon immediately shook her head as she tightly clutched onto Jungwon's shirt.

"Is it the evil thoughts again?" Jungwon questioned and tapped her forehead softly making Jiyeon go silent within a second, "it is, isn't it?"

"Maybe..." Jiyeon whispered making Jungwon sigh before pulling her in closer to him, and just run a hand through her hair.

"Are you gonna... have one of those attacks or is this good enough?" Jungwon carefully questioned making Jiyeon just reach an arm around him and pull him closer.

"Just keep me warm," she muttered making him let out a hum as he pulled the duvet up around her shoulders and held her tight, even if he was gonna be sweating throughout the night.