"This is where it all started, right?
"Might as well end it here."
Nakatungo lang ako sa mga palad ko at doon umiyak.
How can I hurt her?
How can I hurt her and myself at the same time?
How can I live without her? She's my ray of sunshine. How?
"Matthew?" It was Eycee, she sat beside me but I didn't bother looking at her.
A long minute of silence. She just let me cry silently, the rain started pouring so she pulled me but I resisted.
"Matthew, go inside!" she shouted in annoyance but I just shook my head and finally looked at her.
"How can I hurt her, Eycee?" I asked. That stopped her from pulling me. Kahit siya ay nababasa na rin ng ulan. "Paano ko nasikmurang saktan siya?" I held on the table's edge while breathing fast. "Nasasaktan ako,
"Nasasaktan akong nasasaktan siya." Hindi ko mapigilang mapahagulhol sa sobrang sakit,
Seeing her small smiles and teary eyes earlier hurts me... a lot
Aaminin kong gago ako dahil nasaktan ko siya noon, pero wala nang mas gagago pa sa ginagawa ko ngayon.
"Bakit ang sakit magmahal?" I asked. My eyes couldn't stop crying, my heart couldn't stop breaking. "Eycee, mahal na mahal ko si Shane. Mahal na mahal ko 'yong babae na 'yon mula noon hanggang ngayon. B-Bakit kailangang masaktan kami pareho nang wala sa kagustuhan namin?" I pulled my own hair while crying my heart out, never minding Eycee who's watching me. "Ni minsan, hindi ko pinangarap na saktan siya, wala sa bokabularyo ko na saktan siya. But why do these have to happen?" I can't breathe, I feel so suffocated.
The moment I started realizing what love is with her help, I started to promise that I wouldn't make her cry in pain as well.
Because loving her caused me so much happiness, and I realized that love is like that.
But no, as I let go of her for the nth time, I realized that love is something that you can hold onto even without the person. Kumbaga, kahit wala na 'yong tao 'yong pagmamahal nasa sa 'yo pa?
"If it is only me, I would love to let her go for her convenience. But I can see her hurting too, Eycee. No matter how much she tries to hide it, the pain is still evident in her eyes." That's why in the midst of the melancholic breakup, I started looking away. I started crying discreetly. I can see her lips and cheeks smiling but her eyes were agonizing.
I'll just have to trust God with our fate. Pinasasa-Diyos ko na ang lahat. But I won't stop praying to have her in my arms again... forever,
~ꔷ~ꔷꔷ~ꔷ~
On Ate Xyle's birthday,
Isang linggo pa lang simula nang maghiwalay kami ni Shane. Syempre, masakit pa rin. Lalo na't hindi ko naman talaga ginustong magkasakitan kami.
Now, I am watching her swimming in the pool with Audrey and Iryn. She was just smiling, while obviously, the two girls were telling stories to her.
How can she smile like that?
How can she smile as if she's not hurting?
Ngumingiti rin naman ako dahil 'yon na lang ang magagawa ko kahit sobrang sakit na. But I can't smile like that.
Hanggang sa biglang lumapit sa kaniya si Ken, he tapped Shane's shoulder and jokingly pushed her which made her laugh.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin at pinagmamasdan ang mga taong nagsasaya. Ako lang ata ang hindi.
BINABASA MO ANG
Once Upon He Was Mine (Good Girls Series #4)
Novela JuvenilStaring at the guy I love the most is one of the most excruciating things I could suffer. I am wishing to have him, but all I can do is to stare because he is out of my reach. Why? Because I let him pass and I never seized the chance he gave me. Thi...
