Before He Lied

Hardin Chapter 16

Nothing..............nothing will ever hurt more than seeing her with him, at first I didn't believe it. I thought my brain was fucking with me but when he started lifting her shirt and she  started grinding her hips I knew that it was real. When she saw me she quickly pulled away and guarded him, I wanted to kill him. I have never felt so many emotions all at once, I wanted to fall to my knees and  cry.

......

Once I get in my car I quickly put my keys in and start driving, I don't exactly know where I'm going but I need to get as far away as possible from whatever is happening in that room. Wait...........is he still in there? Are they having..............sex? Is he touching her.............I can't do this. I quickly leave my car and run back inside, I open the dorm room door to find Tessa in a ball on the floor. She's crying, I check the bathroom and see a shirt in the sink. He's gone, where did he go? I walk back into the room and she quickly stands up.

"Why are you crying?" He asks rudely.

"Just.............don't." She says quietly.

"No, where's your boyfriend? Zach, did he leave because he was afraid I would kill him?"

"No, I asked him to leave."

She did.

"Why? Did your boyfriend have to get back to his mansion?"

"Can you just shut up, he's not my boyfriend. Why do you care? I thought we were just friends."

"We are, I don't care."

"Really? Because you seem jealous."

"Tessa I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I don't care about you! You are just some basic girl who I almost fucked, you and Zach can live happily ever after in a castle made out of fucking cold for all I care!"

She looks at me with so much pain behind her eyes.

"I can't believe.............that I felt bad for kissing Zach...........because of you." She says quietly.

"What? You felt bad?"

"YES! You are so stupid! You can't see how I feel, you cant see how much I want you HARDIN! I like Zach so much but I...............I...."

"What........you what?" He says softly.

"Nothing................I.......nothing."

"No, say it!"

"NO! You, you don't deserve me!"

I'm taken back by what she says, but she's right. I don't deserve her, I can't be what she needs but I want her.

"I wish you felt the same way I do......... that first night when we first laid together was.........I've never felt so connected to another person..........and then the second night when I was wearing your clothes and we.......touched each other...............I never wanted to let go...........I told Kim about you! But then I found you with Sam and it made me realize that I will never be important to you! I will never be your first choice...............I'm never anyone's first choice...............but Zach......"

"ZACH DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO ABOUT YOU TESSA!" He shouts.

"WELL HOW DO YOU FEEL HARDIN! Tell me..............you just said you don't care about me but now you're telling me you "feel" something! MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND! I'm so tired of this!"

"TESSA ITS NOT THAT EASY!"

"Yes it is! Just be honest."

I can't be honest, I can't tell her. I want to, I want to tell her how I feel and I want to show her what she does to me.

"Please..........just be honest with me and I'll be honest with you." She begs.

She walks towards me and places her hands on my chest, she looks up at me with her hurt filled eyes.

I have to be honest or I'll lose her.

"I don't like you with Zach.........I want you all to myself.......I want to be selfish................I wanna kiss you all the time and I wanna touch you............everywhere..............I want you Tessa........more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life...............I know I'm not romantic and I'm definitely not as charming as Zach but please.............don't date him."

Her eyes fill with hope.

"So you want to date me?" She says hopefully.

"I................Tessa you asked me to be honest...........I can't do a relationship...............I can't be a boyfriend."

The hope leaves her eyes and her hands drop from my chest.

"How can you want me but not want a relationship?" She whispers.

"I.............I don't know."

She turns around and starts walking towards the bathroom.

"No Tessa please.............I'm trying."

She quickly turns around and looks back at me.

"Mixed signals again? You have to tell me what YOU WANT! How dare you say I can't be in a relationship with Zach but you don't even want a relationship with me!"

"Tessa I............"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT HARDIN! WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

"I WANT A RELATIONSHIP BUT IM SCARED!"

Her mood quickly changes from upset to worried, she walks up to me.

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"I've never trusted anyone before..................the last time I trusted someone I................I'm afraid to......trust you."

I didn't quite realize I was so upset until I feel a tear escape my eye, she reaches up and wipes my cheek.

"Your back.................who did that to you?"

"No..............not today." He says softly.

"You can trust me..................I won't hurt you.......I promise Hardin."

I need her now, I grab her face and pull her towards me. I crash my lips into hers, her hands rest on my shoulders. I grab her thighs and lift her up, she wraps her legs around my waist before I push her against the wall. Her hands move to her hair while I squeeze her thighs. I shove my tongue in her mouth the first second I get, she gasps. Her lips are so soft, suddenly the door opens.

"Tessa I forgot my shirt in the..........."

Tessa quickly pulls away.

"Oh my god........Zach I can...." she says.

He runs out of the room, she quickly unwraps her legs from my waist and pulls away from me. She starts walks towards the door, I grab her arm and she looks back at me.

"Hardin I have to go after him.........I..."

"No.........don't go."

"I have to.......I still care about him."

She pulls away from my grip and runs out the door.