Before He Lied

Hardin Chapter 28

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
SENSITIVE CONTENT

I lightly pull away from her, she has a worried expression on her face.

"Does this have to do with what happened the other night?"

"Yes." She says in a shaky broken voice.

"Ok."

She sits down on the edge of her bed and starts picking at the skin around her nails.

"Do you want me to sit?" I ask.

"You can if you want."

I slowly sit next to her, I can tell that something is really bothering her.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No, it's just.................you trusted me to tell me about what happened to you and I.........I want to trust you with something too."

"Tessa I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me just because I told you."

"No, I have to tell you. It's been eating me alive since it happened and I haven't told anyone, if I want our relationship to move forward I have to be honest with you."

She stands up and lightly paces around the room.

"Tessa your really worrying me, did I do something?"

She takes a deep breath before she sits back down next to me, I reach for her hand but she pulls away and slowly scoots away from me.

"Remember that party we went to..............at Sam's apartment."

"Yeah."

"Sam wanted to play a game and she started asking people where the craziest place they had sex was, I made something up and Sam asked if I was a virgin."

Oh god.

"I lied..................I'm not a virgin."

She's not a virgin.

"You've had sex before?" He asks.

"Not really..........but technically yes."

She tucks her hair behind her ears before she starts to cry.

"A few months ago...........after prom Nick and I went back to my house.....................my parents were visiting my aunt in California so we had the house to ourselves."

Oh no.

"I was really tired because of the party and my dress was heavy and I was drunk so I decided to go to my room to change....................I told him to wait downstairs...............I............I should have locked the door."

She starts to cry harder.

"He came into the room............I covered myself with my arms and I screamed for him to leave but he.........................he wouldn't. He started kissing me and I tried to push him off me but he just kept doing it....................he said it was the perfect time to do it..........................he pushed me onto my bed and he........"

"Tessa......." He says shakily.

"He pulled down my underwear and.............he covered my mouth and before I knew it he was........inside me."

I don't even know what to say to help or comfort her.

"It hurt so much and no matter how much I tried to...........fight I couldn't..................once he was "finished" he pulled away. He said I was "tight"."

She looks at the ground.

"He left after that...........and I had to clean up the blood and tears all by myself...........I felt so dirty afterwards....................I didn't sleep that night."

She wipes her face with her sleeve.

"The next morning when I went to school everyone was looking at me, Nick told everyone that I begged him to have sex with me. He told everyone things about my body, he said I was hairy and fat and that I was bad. He made fun of me for crying..............when I confronted him he said that I was delusional.............he said that it was the alcohol from prom that made me "imagine" things."

She was raped.......

"I tried to break things off with him but he pressured me into staying with him............I threatened to tell the police but he didn't like that.........that's the night he broke my grandfathers camera.............I just decided to go along with his story. He manipulated me into believing that he was right.........I'm sorry I lied to you.............saying that I was a virgin was better than telling everyone what happened."

She continues to pick at her fingers, I don't even know what to say. I wanna comfort her but touching her doesn't seem like the best think to do, I don't even know what to do.

"I...............understand if you don't want me anymore................" She says softly.

"No Tessa, why would you even say that."

"Because I'm..........."

"You were taken advantage of, you have to understand that none of this is your fault."

"I should have locked the door." She breaks into sobs.

"I should have locked my bedroom door so that he................he couldn't come in." Her sobs grow.

"Tessa no, this isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. It's his, he's disgusting and a monster and if I ever see him I'll kill him for what he did to you."

"It doesn't matter anymore, he already took my innocence from me, he used me."

I reach for her but pull my hand away, she probably doesn't want me to touch her.

"That's why I got scared that night, I got a flashback..........I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, you did nothing wrong." He says softly.

"How can I help Tessa, I'll do anything."

She surprises me by crawling into my lap, she rests her head on my shoulder while she sobs.

"Can I touch you?"

"Yes."

I loosely wrap my arms around her and pull her close to my chest. I can't believe this happened to her.

"I feel so dirty." She says between sobs.

"You're not dirty Tessa."

"He took it Hardin....................and I couldn't stop him."

"I don't know what to say." He admits.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

She leans up and looks at me.

"You didn't, you're the only person I feel comfortable around. Yours is the only touch that I can bare, I've never felt this way for anyone Hardin. I feel so safe with you, I know that I can trust you."

My heart physically hurts, who could do that to another person. How could he hurt her, she's the kindest person with the biggest heart. She was able to see the light in me when there wasn't any, I just want to comfort her like she did for me.

"Is there anything I can do."

"Just hold me." She whispers.