Before He Lied

Tessa Chapter 43

"Fuck you Hardin."

How dare he throw those words at me now, he had every opportunity and he chooses now.

"No Tessas please......I....."

"You don't get to throw those meaningless words at me now!"

"They aren't meaningless Tessa."

"YES THEY ARE! You only said them because you don't want me to leave! You had every opportunity to tell me that you loved me, you could have told me yesterday! You could have been HONEST! All I ever wanted was your love Hardin, I just wanted you to be mine! But it's too late! You said that you didn't love me! You can't say you love me now because I don't believe you! You don't do this to the person you love Hardin!"

I manage to the wipe the tears before they stream down my face. He looks so helpless, like he's thinking of what to say. I turn around and reach for the handle.

"I love you............I love everything about you...........even the things that I've grown to hate I love...........I love watching you sleep....not in a creepy way......I just like to make sure you're breathing............I never fall asleep unless you've fallen asleep because I don't want you to be lonely.................I love watching you study........you always get so focused on whatever you're doing..........you always pull your bottom lip between your teeth and you bite your cheek.........whenever you're confused your eyebrows scrunch and your face looks cute..................I love when you wear your hair in buns........I think you look really pretty with your hair up......and even though I make fun of you I love those hideous skirts you always wear............I love how the fucking password on your laptop is the day that I told you about my past ............I love how you squeeze your eyes shut when you wash your hair just incase shampoo gets in them............and I love when you hum along to the radio....................I love how you always eat your fries before your burger and how you always check for pickles even if I tell you that there aren't any.......................I love how comfortable you are around me and how you aren't afraid to put me in my place when I fuck up.........I love calling you Theresa because I know it drives you crazy .........I love when you sing.....even if it's just under your breath and you think I can't hear you............I do...........I love how you snore when you sleep and how you always call your parents to say Goodnight................I love how you're grateful for everything and I love how nice you are.....................you are so damn nice to the point where it's unbearable but I love it................I love how you always manage to see the light in me............even when I'm a crying mess or when I'm screaming and breaking shit you always find a way to make me feel better..........I love how you loop your "y" when you write them and how you always make the bed in the morning.........I love how when you're excited you clap your hands and jump in the air or when you skip in the hallway because you think it's faster than walking............I love how you take your coffee black just like me and how you always make sure I'm ok................I love how you always put me first..............no one has ever put me first in my whole entire life.....hell I don't even put myself first............I want to put you first...........I want you to feel like the most important thing in my life because you are........I never had a person to love me........I never thought I could love another person until I fell so hard for you that I couldn't believe it..........I know I'm not a good man and I don't deserve your love but I want it Tessa......I want all of you all of the time.........I wanna fall asleep and wakeup with you every morning................I wanna know what's going on inside your head and what you're always writing in that damn notebook of yours.............I wanna know what makes you sad and I always wanna make you smile ......I know I don't hold your hand and I don't show you off like I should and I'm sorry .......I wanna feel worthy of you and I don't want a relationship with you...........I want a fucking lifetime! I want forever Tessa!"

He takes a deep breath.

"I love you Tessa..........I love you with every fragment of my broken soul."

The salty tears pool in my eyes, my vision is blurred. I quickly wipe my eyes and sniffle my nose, those were the most powerful words anyone has ever said to me. They came straight from his heart, the way his words left memories for a life time. The way they managed to heal every wound, how they managed to heal me. I love him so much.

I drop my bag and run into his arms, I press my lips into his. His hands go to my waist and I rest mine on his face, our lips glide together softly. He brushes his tongue against mine, his lips feel like home. I pull away and look at him, I reach up and wipe away the tears that stream down his cheek. He grabs my hand and kisses my palm.

"I love you Hardin, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

He shakes his head.

"Don't apologize my love."

"I should have told you, I was just so scared you didn't feel the same way. But it's true..........I love you Hardin..........I promise that I will show you what it's like to be loved.........and I promise that I will never break your heart.............."

He takes my hand and places it over his heart.

"It's yours Tessa."

I lean in and press my lips into his. His hands go to my hair as he lifts my chin, he picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. He rests his hands on my ass while he holds me up, I run my fingers through his hair as he slowly walks backwards. He sits on my bed and I straddle his lap, I slowly rock my hips as we make out. I feel him beginning to get hard, I slowly pull away and look him in the eyes.

"Hardin I........"

"What? What is it darling?"

He runs his thumb over my bottom lip.

"I want you."

"I want you too love."

"No.................I want you."

Confusion washes over his face before he realizes what I'm asking him.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna rush you?" He asks.

"I'm tired of waiting for the perfect moment, I want you now Hardin." I say.

He leans in again and presses his lips into mine.

"Is the door locked?"  He asks between kisses.

"Yes."

He starts to unbutton my blouse.