Before He Lied

Hardin Chapter 84

I hear her walk into the bedroom and close the door, I sit on the couch and sigh.

What the fuck, we haven't fought in such a long time. I just don't know what happened, we were fine this morning but now she's acting like this. Usually when we fight it's because I did something but this time I didn't do anything, at least I don't think I did. I've barley seen her, is today important? Our anniversary passed, her birthday isn't till next month................I didn't miss anything, I just wished she would talk to me.

I didn't mean to yell at her, I was just so scared that something happened to her. When I saw her walk through the door all my emotions bunched into one and when I opened my mouth the only thing that came out were screams. I feel awful, I just hate when we fight.

...

After sitting on the couch for far too long I slowly sit up, I pace around the living room for a bit. I'm trying to think of how I should approach this, how to fix this.

As I pace I look out the window and see small flakes of snow fall, it's the first snow of the season. We were supposed to watch it together, we were gonna light the fire and drink hot chocolate.

I walk over to the bedroom, I want to knock on the door. To demand for her to tell me what's wrong, I just want to make her feel better. To see her smile.

I raise my fist to knock but hesitate, I slowly drop my hand and walk away. Best not to bother her, she's probably asleep.

I'm gonna have a long night.

...

I slowly remove my shirt and throw it on the floor, while the water gets hot I lean over the sink and stare at my reflection. I slick my hair back and narrow my eyes as I examine myself, every muscle, every bone, every swirl of ink.

And she called me beautiful, funny joke.

I slowly unbutton my pants and slide them off along with my boxers, I throw all my clothes on the floor into a pile. I can already hear Tessa scolding me, I sigh before I pick up my clothes and put them in the laundry basket.

I walk into the shower and close the glass door, I rest my hands on the wall while the water burns my back. The hot drops pour down my back, I rest my forehead on the wall and close my eyes. I'm so fucking tired, I just wanna sleep. I just wanna hold Tessa in my arms and sleep, but she probably won't even let me near her. I just fucking wish she would talk to me, she's so fucking stubborn.

...

Once I become numb to the hot water I turn it off and step out of the shower, I dry my hair before I wrap a towel around my waist. I slick my hair back before I leave the bathroom.

Shit.

She's in the room, I slowly open the door and quietly walk inside. I see her laying in bed with her eyes wide open, she sits up and looks at the door.

"I just need clothes, I didn't mean to wake you." I say.

She slowly lays back down and turns her back to me.

I quickly grab boxers and some pants before I leave the room and shut the door behind me. I change in the bathroom and hang my towel behind the door before I walk through the living room to the guest room. I open the door and look at the empty bed, back to square one I see, I hate sleeping alone............I hate sleeping without Tessa.

I crawl into the bed and lay back and stare at the ceiling.

I try to close my eyes and imagine that she's here, that she's laying on my chest.

But it doesn't work.

I can't smell her vanilla shampoo, I can't hear her quiet snores, I don't feel her soft skin on mine.